Well, It's time again. If I don't type this out now, I probably never will, most of this is rambling. I haven't actually cataloged much unless its actively messing up things I'm working on. Which is true for this case. Recently, My grandpa had surgery, it went well! At least, at first. He was rushed to the ER the other day, my mother is staying with him until he's better, so I'm pretty alone at home now. I'm not very sure what to think. I'm upset, and I really don't want to think about the worst, but with how things are right now I struggle to be an optimist. Most people would go to their friends for this kind of stuff, but in complete honesty I can't force myself to do it. I've helped some of my friends with lots of things, a lot worse things, even if I did a good job this just doesn't set right with me. I hate people worrying about me, especially if there's no use in worrying. It's my family, and if it were to put me in a downward spiral I trust those around me to pick me up. I can't control what happens, there's no "preventing" another surgery, someone has to take care of the house, dad's too busy working double now that mom's gone so I'm not gonna be able to go visit the hospital that's two hours away. I can text and call but that's about it, watching from the sidelines. This website has always been one of my safe spaces. I get to spread my wings and put my wacky ideas into existence. I've found tons of friends and amazing people here. Heck I got to collaborate with some of the best animators on this sight, and for those things, I am eternally grateful. I don't vent a lot, normally because there's not a lot for me to vent about. So I suppose I'm not necessarily asking for advice or consolation, I'm just opening the box and setting down a bit of what's been weighing me down. I hate taking longer than I need to for projects, maybe it's a feeling of pressure from having a bit of a community, or maybe its just disliking the idea of wasting time. Making these kinds of announcements or projects helps make me feel a bit better about taking longer. Animating used to be easy for me, it was a past-time hobby, and from what you all tell me, I'm pretty good at it. Right now it's been really hard for me to enjoy any of the fun things I used to do. Video games feel like a task, animating isn't a fun stress reliever anymore. I suppose I'm a bit burnt-out. Outside of all that, I've tried to pick music back up, so I might be posting some of it. Music is a bit easier since I've done it all my life, so I might just do that while I try and get back into the swing of things. Thanks for reading this. I appreciate your continued support to me as an animator and such.
