so, this is as personal as i'm gonna get for a while, alright? all of this took place a week or so ago. so, to get you guys caught up, it had been a while since those two kids planned a school shrewting, and i was feeling pretty well. but connor (told yall about him) was kind of... avoiding me. he wasn't eating lunch with us to have more time on his chromebook, and generally not going to breakfast with us anymore. and then, around a week later, that's when i noticed he was hanging around with those kids again. i confronted him about this, and he said that he was getting back with them because he was really sewer sidal when he wasn't with those kids. let me just tell you, i'm very... aware of that stuff. i knew he was sewer sidal. but now he was blaming it on me, or guilt tripping me (and doing it right). i told him to pick those kids, or me and emily. he wanted to stay with the other kids. since then, i've noticed some bad things about connor. not the worst things, but still pretty bad. for starters, he's kind of an unhealthy person. what i mean is that he's addicted to screens (at least i'm trying to get better with that, those who know me irl) he drinks a LOT of monster, and his parents (and him, for all i know) use weed. he's also kind of a person that makes you down. like, while we're having a regular conversation, he'll bring up something political or about his trauma (which, by the way, i'm not blaming him for having trauma. it's just when you bring the same thing up in conversation for the 3rd time today, it really gets people down. there's nothing wrong with venting, just place and time, ight?) and since he started not being friends with me anymore, i've began to notice things about life that i didn't before. i started experimenting with clothing, wearing more coloful things instead of black all the time. i found my style. i discovered that walks once in a while can be really good for your mental health. i've felt pretty good since, and it feels like there's been a weight lifted from my shoulders.
