a poisoned flower . srp

Instructions

general warning for mention of blood, violence, murder, and npc death i breathed in, the familiar wetness of crimson liquid drying on my paws as i walked away. i hadn't killed the poor guy of course, he wasn't deserving of that. there wasn't any point anyway, for i believe my training had been completed. how long have i been wandering this foreign world? moons. perhaps around eight might be fitting. since i have left, i gained much more knowledge. i learned many things that were not taught to me properly, with the mind and scars to prove it. i was filled with so much sorrow back then, i was weak-minded, clouded with grief. again, weak-minded. however i knew i had a legacy to live up to, so i took it into my own paws and fled, for i could not get the proper lesson i needed in shadowclan. at first, i was a failure. i was beaten many times i will admit. but trial and error is always needed of course, and i began to learn things. new battle tactics, how to think as if the moments paused, and to be nimble and elegant while i retake my rightful pride. i had rematched those who had beaten me before, and i went on to battle many more. many more, until i was satisfied, until i realized my strength had surpassed the opponents i was picking. so i moved onto more experienced fighters. i was beaten to shame, i won with triumph. all i knew outside of my clan was fighting. soon i had learned to restrain myself. i wasn't proud of what i was doing but i was proud of my improved strength. four cats i had killed in my eight moons of lonership. only four, but i was merciful to many. i learned to be independent, and to wear my scars as a badge of honor. as i dipped my paws into the familiar luke-warm river, watching as the encrusted bits of red blood drift down with the current, i began to think. it was time i went back home, no? i remember the journey to our new camp, i remember the path i took to leave. it was nearby, i knew that. maybe a bit more than half a day's walk. i, fawnsunder, had finally become a worthy warrior for my ancestors. i would no longer feel weak or feel grievances. i have developed far past that, and there was no need for self-pity anymore. i was a fine warrior, and it was time i proved that to my clan. to think i was once a delicate and awkward flower-bud, so innocent and pure. like a daisy. however, i bloomed into a thorned ivory rose. some would say it's unfortunate, my family would not. so as i stood outside of the entrance, i held my head high. one paw after the other, i entered into the shadowclan camp. a familiar yet strange place i called home.