Many mixed feelings about my life rn Ig a small vent too? Me venting is in the notes and credits
Life is good but also it sucks right now. So many changes are happening and I’m just incredibly overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted. It’s the end of the school year so go figure. I got a job application and I’m excited to get hired (I most likely will) but am also dreading it. My lover is also mentally and physically exhausted and is stressed as well so I’m worried for him. Shenanigans with my mother and her wanting to have a good relationship with me immediately after suddenly appearing in my life after years of being absent and not being a mother-like figure. I’ve lived with my aunt and uncle more than my parents. I just don’t know why she wants to have a relationship with a kid she neglected and made feel like she wasn’t worthy of love by sitting back and letting her get abused by her stepdad. Same thing with my dad. My parents divorced either before I was born or right after I was born. Both of my parents had partners that abused me. My parents didn’t abuse me to be clear, just my step ones. But I was the only one who went through that. Just me. Out of my other siblings, I was the only one to be abused, making me always believe that there’s something wrong with me. I still do. I don’t even want to get that close with my mom. I’m finally starting to build a relationship with my aunt who is more of a mother figure than my biological mother has ever been. For Christ’s sake, my mother even said once that she didn’t want to be around me because I looked like my father. My aunt told me about this and I’m sure my mom doesn’t think that way anymore but come on am I really that much of a plagued burden to her? If anyone read this, thank you and I’m sorry if I randomly dumped everything out at once. I needed this and to get my feelings off my chest. Nobody has to believe anything I wrote, I just needed to get it off my chest. I hope everyone has an amazing day. I love you guys
