I was in this spot last year around the same time. Thoughts becoming erratic and scattered. Not being able to focus. Feeling insane. Drawing vent art starting to be less of an outlet and more like fuel for the fire. I think my brain is just desperate to finish school, and it's getting itself worked up about just wanting to be done with work. It's tiring me out and it's affecting several other aspects of my life, including my motivation, my mood, and things that I used to enjoy. I've had a headache since Sunday. it hasn't gone away yet. I've been thinking a lot more about wanting to go to bed. I'm eating less. Drawing hasn't been enjoyable anymore. I feel constantly irritated and tired. I'm waking up later and later. As much as I love scratch, I think it's probably best to step away from it until the school year ends. I want to be able to focus all my energy on the remainder of the school year and finish strong. (( I mean I'm probably not going to do that you'll probably see me still liking and commenting on stuff but like hey it's nice to tell myself that I'm going to do something lol )) >> I still have made quite a bit of art, but lately it feels like everything in my sketchbook has been going downhill. I can literally pinpoint the exact moment where things started going south, and (at least to me) it's pretty visible that from then on things have been going in a downward spiral. I think the added antsy-ness of wanting to finish a sketchbook on top of feeling like a mess from school burnout just contributed more to my current state ahahajhasj-- making vent art used to be helpful, but there's so much of it (both subtle and.. not subtle vent art) that it's honestly kinda starting to feel like something that's weighing me down, and that bothers me. I remember last year being so distraught that I just told myself that I would stop drawing until the school year ended (I did not stick to that obviously) and it frustrates me now that that thought is starting to become prominent again. It's absolutely ridiculous to tell myself to stop drawing when the school year ends, because it's basically like me telling myself "ok I'm going to stop breathing until the school year ends", but I don't exactly have any alternative. At this moment in time, drawing frustrates me as much as my Spanish class. ig chances are the next art dump I post will be a new sketchbook presumably towards the very end of school or when schools over or something soooo uhhh idk what I'm going to doooooo TLDR I'm probably taking a small hiatus and i'll be drawing less... i dunno half the reason I made this was to kinda just get my thoughts organized so I could kind of grasp whatever the hell I'm feeling, but if you read all that ty lol I probably just need to like,, sleep this off haha i'd appreciate prayers concerning finals :pray: (specfically Spanish class I swear that class is the bane of my existence I am SO excited to quit Spanish) ___________________________________________ Coding: Character: Thing 2 () Art: Audio: 110 - Numbers - OMORI OST
