In case you cant read it here! They say I'm gone, but hush, lean near— I’m etched in breath, I’m tangled here. No stone can cage a soul like mine, I walk the cracks where shadows shine. I died one dusk—no thunder cried, No angels wept, no heavens sighed. Just silence thick as cellar dust, And hands that failed what hearts still trust. But death is not an end, you see, It's just a room without a key. I pace the halls where time won’t tread, A ghost in boots, a crown of dread. Tell Ma I tried, though falling fast, Tell John B I forgave the past. Tell Kie when she feels the chill, It’s just my hand, it lingers still. I ain’t the hero I meant to be, But I still hum old tunes in the trees. When fireflies blink or doors swing wide, That’s just ol’ JJ, sayin’ hi. So raise your glass, don't bow your head— The dead aren’t gone. We're just... unread You weren’t supposed to go like that— Not off the page, not just fade to black. You lived too loud, too sharp, too bright, A comet cutting through our night. I watched you fall, and felt it tear A space you left in empty air. Not kin, not close, not face-to-face, But still, you held a holy place. Your boots were worn, your voice was cracked, You carried ghosts, and never cracked. You bled for good, you joked through pain, You made us feel like loss had gain. They say you're fiction—"just a role." But stories carve into the soul. And you, dear JJ, rough and real, You taught me how to hurt and heal. Now when the credits start to roll, I mouth your name, I pay the toll. You’re gone—but ink is strange that way: It echoes more than flesh can stay. So here's to you, still fierce, still flame— Not just a line, not just a name. In every heart you set alight, You rise again. You burn. You fight. —from John B You always said you’d die young. I laughed it off. Told you to shut up, Told you to stay. Guess you got the last word, huh? Now it’s quiet. Too damn quiet. No whoops off the cliffs, No splashes, No boots stomping onto the porch Like you owned the world. You were chaos, Beautiful, reckless, loyal to the bone. And God, I hated you for that sometimes. But mostly—I loved you. You were my brother. My family when everything else cracked. I still hear you. In the wind through the trees, In the creak of the dock, In the engine that won’t start Unless I kick it just like you did. I keep waiting for your dumb laugh, The way you'd call me out, Call me in. The way you'd never let me drift too far. And now you’re the one gone. No note. No goodbye. Just silence. And a hole shaped like every fight, Every late-night run, Every secret we swore we'd keep. You were fire. And you burned out fast. But, man... You lit everything while you were here. So I’ll carry it, alright? Your wild. Your weight. Your name. I’ll keep you close, Right where you've always been— In the mess, In the fight, In whatever comes next. I got you, JJ. Still. You never said goodbye. Not really. Just that crooked grin, A squeeze of my hand, And some stupid joke I can’t stop replaying. I used to think I could save you. From the storms, From yourself, From that look you got When you thought no one was watching. But love isn’t armor, is it? It’s not enough To hold someone here When they’re already halfway gone. You were a wildfire, JJ. All heat and heart And never any warning. You kissed like it hurt to stop. You held me like you thought I’d vanish if you let go. Now you’re the one gone. And I’m still here— With your hoodie in my closet, Your name in every breaking wave, Your laugh echoing Through every damn quiet place You used to fill. They say time heals. But time doesn’t know you. Time doesn’t understand What it’s like to love someone Who lived like every second was borrowed. I still talk to you. In the dark, in the surf, When the sky splits open And I swear I feel you there— Just out of reach, Still watching, Still loving. I don’t need a sign, JJ. I already know. You’re not really gone. You’re just somewhere I can’t follow. Not yet. But I will. Someday.
Space. More captions! You always stood between me and the world. Like you were made for it. Shoulders squared, Eyes sharp, That look that said, “Mess with her, and you answer to me.” I don’t think you ever realized How much that meant. You called it nothing. Said it was “just how we do.” But JJ— You were everything When things started falling apart. I didn’t need saving. But you saved me anyway. Not just from the fights or the noise, But from the silence after. The way you’d crack a joke When you saw me cracking inside. The way you made the weight feel lighter Just by standing next to me. You weren’t soft with many people. But with me… You were different. Still loud, still wild, still you— But softer at the edges. Like somehow I made you feel safe, too. I’d give anything To have one more midnight drive, One more “you good?” That meant more than any speech ever could. You didn’t say things often— But when you did, they mattered. You always said, “If anything happens to me, just promise you’ll be okay.” Screw that. I’m not okay. You were my person. My chaos twin. My family when blood didn’t mean much. And now I walk this world without you. And nothing feels right. But I swear, I’ll keep your name close. I’ll laugh the way you taught me—loud and unbothered. I’ll fight for the ones who need it, Like you fought for me. You were my guard dog. My storm. My shield. My best friend. And even now— Somewhere out past whatever comes next— I know you're still watching. Still ready. Still JJ. You said it first— Of course you did. Laughed like it was no big deal, Shoved my shoulder, Grinned wide and stupid: “Love you, bro.” And I froze. Because I felt it too. But I didn’t know how to say it back. You always felt things out loud. Louder than anyone. You fought like hell. Loved like it hurt. Lived like every day Could be the last. And then one day, It was. I keep thinking about that moment. How I just nodded. Looked away. Said something dumb, Like “You’re such a mess.” But what I meant was: You were my brother. What I meant was: I love you too. I always did. Now it echoes— That silence. That last chance I didn’t take. You were so full of fire, And I— I was scared of saying things I couldn’t take back. But you weren’t. You never were. You carried us. Even when it broke you. You made the mess feel like home. You made the pain feel survivable. You made me braver— And I never told you. God, JJ. I should’ve said it. When you were still here, Still laughing, Still yelling across the boat, Still calling me “nerd” like it was a nickname And not a love language. So here it is, Too late, Too quiet, But real: I love you. I always did. And I always will. Only knew you for a year. One wild, loud, stupid, brilliant year. Didn’t take long though, did it? You stormed in, All attitude, All fight, All heart you pretended you didn’t have. I called you Rude Boy ’Cause you were. Always talking back, Always jumping first, Always daring the world to try you. But behind that sharp tongue— You had this way of watching people, Like you saw more than you let on. Like you knew what it was to hurt, And didn’t want anyone else to feel it. You protected them. You fought for them. You even softened around me When you thought I wasn’t looking. I thought we had more time. More late-night boat rides, More dumb arguments, More of your terrible singing When you thought no one was listening. But time’s cruel like that. And you? You burned fast. Didn’t fade. Just gone. And now I keep hearing your voice— Sarcastic. Loud. Saying something smart Right before doing something reckless. I miss you, Rude Boy. More than I thought I would. More than I know how to say. You weren’t perfect. But you were real. Raw and loyal and alive In a way most people never even try to be. You were my friend. One of the good ones. And if you’re out there somewhere, Tearing it up in whatever comes after— Save me a seat. And maybe chill out a little. You never said it, but you protected me like a brother. Every time things got too heavy, You'd crack some joke, Or punch someone who deserved it. You carried more pain than we ever saw— But you never let it stop you from loving us. You were more than a Pogue. You were ours. I called you rude boy ‘cause it fit— Loud mouth, big heart, quick fists. But you were more than the fire you showed. You saw through my walls like glass, Treated me like I belonged, no questions. JJ, you had a way of making misfits feel like family. Now there's a hole where you stood— And we all feel it. Every damn day. We are the ones you left behind, Still trying to chase the sun without you. Every wave still whispers your name, And the wind carries your laughter. You were never just a Pogue— You were the pulse, The soul, The heart. Rest easy, JJ. We’ll carry you wherever we go. Always.
