This is not toward anyone ik online. I'm talking to you Evan cause ik you're going to take offense or smth Anyways I have art block and I have a lot of other things going on that I just don't know how to deal with. This is smth I was thinking about the other day. Either people just don't talk to me or when I try to talk to them they'd rather talk to my sister. This happens more than once. I've had people call her "my favorite___" and stuff like that but then they look at me and say things like "I h@t3 you Paul" or "you can leave, I only care for your sister" and it might be because I look like I can handle it but I'm tired of it. People are always saying things like that I get mad too easily. These people are the ones trying to make me actively mad. When I don't speak I get forgotten but either way I've never been the first choice. I'm tired of it and I'll be honest I hate my friendgroup so much but they're better than everyone else in my school. Besides Nothing I've ever done is good enough. I make good grades but they're never better than her. I am worse at everything thN her. Tbh I don't like her trying my hobbies cause she is usually better than me. Its horrible I feel horrible, I have a couple people that I love to talk to (manda, Evan, Qaunq, etc) but I wish I had a person like that irl.
