Yeah....another update. I've been a lot more active on my roleplay accounts... And now I think I know the real reason why. I was scared. Yeah, sure. "But your recent conversations are just like all positive and whatever blah blah". Yeah, ever heard of a mask? Well, anywho. There's a certain person who keeps bugging me about everything ever since I tried shutting down all connections. ... They've made their... 'punishments' worse. See, this person knows who I am, where I live, they even go to the same school. And just because I accidentally lost it once when they brought up a touchy subject... They...well....ruined me, I suppose. Rumors spreading like wildfire, hate on every corner of the web. It doesn't help even if they are banned from Scratch, there's still another. One I'd nickname CM I suppose if we had to go by user/real names. They brought up an even...'touchier' subject with a certain studio. Lashing out at me as if I'd punched them when I simply stated a fact surrounded by science alone. I had to take a small break, if any of my friends remember. I didn't want to hurt anyone just because I was hurting. But even still...? They continuously bug me about their own problems, I try being as polite as possible, answering as if we were still neutral... We're NOT. If you are reading this CM, I recommend you stop right now. Stop reading, stop following, stop bothering me, stop inviting me, stop inviting all that you are following because they never asked for that. Only followers have to expect that. *sigh* Yes, call me a coward, childish, all of those things, it'll be fine if you need to and you're trying to state the truth...but remember, I like things backed up by facts and history. Not just sudden outbursts. Do you know why I roleplay? Why I stay so long for days now on my roleplay accounts? Because it's another world. A world that you can manipulate. A world that can be formed to perfection, or to ashes. It is a simple way for finding out how you're feeling at that moment of time. ... Lately, it's been destructive. Skip this next paragraph if you don't want to read through 'struggles of an freaking, childish, foolish idiot who can not do anything for themselves'. I've been starting school, getting good grades, but having to start seeing a counselor from my school every day. I have had to sit in the back of the class despite my vision problems because I am not 'in need' as much as others. As an eighth grader, I have to set a good example and make sure others do the same, especially the sixth graders with their newfound....ah... 'freedom of choice'. Their mouths are pulled loose, their hands no longer cuffed, their eyes ready to judge, and their ears turned off except for their inner, selfish demon. It's hard though. To stop people a good foot or two taller than you from hurting you and the other, to be yelled at by teachers for not 'trying hard enough', to be hit multiple times a day by your...'fellow' peers. I only realized how hard this last few weeks of Summer and the school week have been for me today, when I finished homework and went to bed. I didn't wake up at all until 12:27. It was nearly lunch. I slept from seven thirty to twelve in the morning. My head hurt, everything ached, and I needed to take a pain killer just to move my legs. My mom called Poofless (Elizabeth), telling her about my situation. Since Liz is in a 'privileged' group, helping the school/teachers with fundraisers, enforcing rules, assembly's, ect., she was allowed to come over to my place. ... They are concerned that I may have Atypical Depression. They've been talking about types of depression behind my back ever since I've started actually setting my own bed times early, waking up at the latest time, and started losing some of my 'excitement' in drawing. Yeah, that drawing over there <--- That's from three months ago, I didn't draw it recently. Well... I guess I ranted enough. I'll try to not be a 'downer' heh... Like I could be even more than I already am, amirite? I probably won't be on this account much due to schoolwork/counselors/roleplaying accounts. \ Not to mention how much I've doven into a place called T___lr //blocked it for the lil' kiddies// I like drawing, animating, all of those things. So I'll continue soon. Probably on the weekends. I probably won't even share this for a week or two though, to be honest. As I said, I'm scared. Of everything? Who knows. Just don't trust odd numbers. So I probably will share this on the eighteenth or something. HEY! FUTURE SELF! DON'T /NOT/ SHARE THIS! ... yeah. Good night, my knights. Remember; We're here for you. So don't give up. ................ Please.
