monster on my backside⋆˙⟡ a poem hope you all enjoy! . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. capture me in your arms take me into the night whisper your sly subtleties and dip me into your pools of lies and even as the windows creak and my mother calls for me i'll run away with you just to be once again free my sister is screaming and my throat is void of voice i want to tell her it's going to be fine but i can't escape this choice when i lay in your arms of branches and blood thirst my father looks to me with concern but he could never know of my hurt because when you're there even if you're hurting me at least you recognize me, the figure of my agony when you console me and wrap yourself around me this suffocation seems to be a blessing and i take you in wholeheartedly sinking slowly into my mind then my heart, lungs, and eventually you're all my eyes can see but i do not know your form and, as all children do my curiosity got the better of me and i sought you out except it had been your game all along the figure of my guilt who had rested on my backside all this time finally came into view i knew then that you were not my friend these words you had told me were not out of kindness but your own match of chess and you had landed me in a checkmate except instead of playing with rooks and bishops we played with my feelings well, you were playing and i had become a pawn in your army deluded into thinking this life ever belonged to me i realized that you were my monster and i couldn’t escape you now, nor yesterday, and certainly not tomorrow somehow, this monster had manifested into my very own soul so when I cried, i knew they were your tears i belonged to you and your kisses were not for me but for the idea that i might break from the feeling of your acceptance i began to love you in a twisted way you kept me in check so that i couldn't mess up everything again and i knew that i deserved my tears when i felt my pain i knew it was just you reminding me that i needed to repent for all the wrongs i'd done that day my sister’s still screaming for me and i can’t escape this hole so all i do is cry while my parents try to dig me out i know it won’t work and i want to stop the outer pain in order to prevent troubling them i hug my sister now, long and deep i kiss my parents on the cheek my tears are absorbed by you and the pain is inside my head everyone’s safe now so dear monster living on my eye bags, come back to my backside and soak in my body so that i can physically numb myself once again ˖ ᡣ? ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊ hi fairies :) this is a silly little poem i wrote. well, maybe it's not so silly haha it's addressing how anxiety and all sorts of bad feelings have kind of shaped my mind, at least, that's what i'm referring to as my monster. and, you know, it really does feel like the monster is kind of making sure i don't really screw up. but in a really, really, really wrong way. the monster. is not a good guy. so um yeah!!! sorry i don't really know how to explain the poem BUT um ok!!! hope you guys have a great day i have the best fairies on the planet♡ stay beautiful! xx miya ‧₊˚♪ ⋆ ₊˚⊹ ᰔ ̊.₊˚⊹ p.s: love the marias!
