Urithiru - Tsunamiflash SRP

Instructions

————————SRP———————— Feathers fluttered in Tsunamiflash’s vision, the sky bleeding dark as the sun fell down the horizon, amber and ruby streaks torn across the sky, crimson marring her own pelt. She’d thought that the bird would be taken off-guard if she attacked when it was later. She’d thought that even with her low strength, she could take it, and she could help MossClan more than normal patrols, more than hunting. No. That had not been the case. Her subconscious was quiet for the first time in moons, the apathy manageable, as it spat only the last bursts of brutal honesty at her, hissing truths that bit harder in some ways, but what soothed it was the fact that the other ones were no longer valid. It told her that due to her rash decisions her kits would never know her, told her that she’d let Beebounce down by adopting her kits then leaving them, too. That Peahenstar had needed her, that her former and current apprentices had needed her, that Flightfurrow has needed his last sibling, and yet she’d left them all nonetheless. And for that, she felt guilty. But then there was another fact. She could see her friends again. Apologize to cats she’d never truly done anything to yet felt sorry for. Jadegleam, her mentor, whom she had missed for so long. Pebblespark, the cat who had decided to train her from StarClan a few days before, the cat she had wounded mortally and had weakened the she-cat enough that a different battle had resulted in her passing. Floppysong, a dear friend and deputy who had tried to do the best for MossClan but had never been given the opportunity to prove herself. Cocoa Weevil, the she-cat who had helped Tsu find her adoptive kits, Hyperkit, Boomkit, Transmitkit, and Inhibitorkit. A fine, kind cat. Beebounce, a cat she’d only truly understood in the other she-cat’s last days, yet she found she still cared deeply for her Clanmate. Tsunamiflash felt herself growing weaker and knew she wouldn’t be able to make it to Muttpatter. And she wouldn’t want to burden the medic anyway. ‘Well,’ she supposed, sorrow both deepening and fading from her chest, ‘I’ll… I’ll be closing my eyes for the final time, won’t I? There’s nothing I can do to help the Clan anymore. They… they are alone now.’ All her kits, apprentices. Dear parts of her life, cats she’d thought she’d be able to watch grow up. She realized at last, eyes growing glassy, that she had been wrong in that regard. Always wrong. And still Peahenstar’s face returned to her as the apathy drew up in a surge—natural, this time, the call of all she had lost to her, rather than a mask of sorrow—her friend, her leader, the cat she’d never gotten to apologize to over their small disagreement. One that was foolish, unnecessary when played against the scale of things. Prey had always been the driving factor for the Clans, the thing that started battles and ended them with uprising and rebellion and division. Tsu and Peahen knew that better than many cats. She apologized to her kits, hoping someone would hear and pass on her apology for when she could not, for not being able to stand by them, for not being able to watch them become warriors. To her apprentices, for letting them down, for failing Miragepaw, who would now be a ward. Monsoonpaw, for not being able to yowl his name. Koipaw, a kit she’d known well for moons and by miracle become her apprentice. Gemlily, a former apprentice who had always been a good cat, one she’d loved to teach. Vaporeon, a cat who had been eager from the start. Phantompaw, another transfer, one who had been so clever, so capable. Lobeliapaw, who’d she scarce been able to meet, yet been a good cat, pushing through problems Tsunamiflash had never understood. And lastly: “I’m sorry, Peahenstar. I left you when you needed it most. My dearest friend, my leader. You did what I never could, accomplished what I failed to do, and did what needed to be done for MossClan, never setting boundaries and, in that, likely saving our lives. I owe you more than I could ever express, ever repay, and you deserved better from me as a friend. I wish I could help you even now, but I have failed you, too, in that regard. I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do for you. May StarClan guide your pawsteps… …and I will, too, separately. I’ve seen into StarClan on occasion and while it is a beautiful place, I’ll never be at rest unless I can see all of the cats I have lost, and that stands outside of StarClan’s borders. I’ll see you when it’s all over. Farewell, my friend.” She knew as she said it that StarClan would never hold the appeal it did for others. Though it saddened her greatly, she would never be able to rest knowing she’d chosen a side. Tsu had never been one to pick sides, after all. Tsunamiflash simply stayed with the cats that she cared for the most. And she’d never leave her Clan, not for anything. MossClan was her home, and it always would be, no matter where she wandered.