Any tips for sleeping and eating..?

Instructions

Sleeping issue: it's 5:02 a.m at the time of me writing this.. I've been blasting the entire HTE album... mostly Male Fantasy on a loop in my ears for hours now... I can't sleep and I'm overthinking.. just thinking abt basically everything a lil trip down memory lane, sounds great but it's exhausting, mostly emotional.. I doubt anyone will see this until morn, but hopefully by then someone can help. Eating Issue: I haven't been eating properly, idk why either.. my stomach feels empty, but I don't want to eat, i'll start eating and not even half way through the meal... I'll just stop, loss of appetite, and everyone tells me that I'm "grabbing attention again" "Stop, it's annoying" "eat more" "eat less" Why'd you grab so much food?" "Why'd you grab so little, you tryna starve yourself?" "Quite acting like your father is still here and get better, you don't have 'anxeity' anymore or whatever you should be able to eat better now." I can't tho.. other issues: ITS SUMMER TIME I should be happy? I should hanging out with family... BUT THE ONLY TOPIC IS MY FATHER... they say the like him, he just changed for the worst... uhm HES BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE THE BEGINNING?? HELLO My bad for noticing this before anyone more mature than me I guess... and he keeps texting me that he's sorry, he misses me, why am I so distant...it's constant I'm always complaining abt him nothing's new... he's not changing yet I cant let go of the fact that maybe just maybe he can.. but its never gonna happen.. I'm confused and tired... idk... I don't wanna D-13 but I cant keep living like this... its pain... that's it..... but I still have dreams to go with... but yeah.. I need a guitar And a motorcycle ofc <3 What I need HTE - Billie Eilish on a loop Kawasaki Ninja H2 going over 200 it's like $31,500 but idc perfect sunset, then into rain in a cold night on a highway Monster Energy Drink <3 and finally... someone at home waiting for me, making me want to come home unscathed.. not going over 200 in the rain, and sleep next to them...to feel and hold them after crying at like 2 a.m.. even if it was just a dream... it's something...special It's now 5:26 while I end this.... bye <3 (if ur wondering if that bye meant I'm bouta jump off a balcony (yk what I mean) it's not, i'll stay alive if u want)