I suppose this could be considered a vent, or rather an outward expression of my own questions that have plagued me for most of my summer, as well as delineate the reasons for my inactivity. This project will hold more of a lugubrious tone, so I have no objections to any of those who enter this project to choose to leave, as this will certainly not have much leeway out of darkness. I hope to share more of my art in the upcoming days, which will be considerably more uplifting, and I hope to see you then. Thank you for those who stay to read my words, I applaud your strength. Though I still appreciate and understand those who depart, I do not see you as weak, this may simply not be your cup of tea, and I thank you for your consideration to even look at my project. This is not a search for pity or comfort, though if offered to me I will oblige to appreciate it, not only by a feeling of necessity, but also simply by my thankfulness for your empathy. If you don't give consolation, I'm grateful for you nonetheless. To begin, regarding my absence, it is not entirely a lie that I've been busy, because I have had many activities, but not without plenty of time to go onto Scratch. Rather, I've been busy with my mind. I won't go into a great deal of detail, but I've dealt with a heap of existential dread and a faith crisis over this summer (though I may be over-dramatizing it quite a bit, this is the most concise means of explanation). I'd like to deter you with wasting your time with worry for me, as I've come to a sense of peace, though still slightly unsteady. I hope to become more active on this site in the coming days. As for my thoughts, there's one matter specifically that I've ruminated over for quite some time. To illustrate this for you, I'd like to share a presumption: I most likely sound older than I actually am, especially in writing. I feel I've grown before my time, like my childhood has slipped through my fingers. Adults treat me as one of their own, and I suppose it frightens me. Has the expression "Youth is wasted on the young" ever caught your ear? Have I thrown away my juvenescence? If so, why? I've never experienced major upheaval in my life, never been present in a situation requiring adulthood before my time, so where did this maturity arise? I fear I have no more room to grow, that my mind is too full of desolateness and the world's corruption. I fear many things. Will I live out my adolescence as a grown-up imprisoned in a child's body? There are many other matters I'd like to explicate, but I worry they'll be too dark for Scratch, so I'll leave them to remain inside my head. I'm glad to report my state of happiness and peace has greatly improved, though I still can have quite a few rough days, I've been much better than earlier this season. I've picked up writing, and I'm currently working on two novels, and they've assisted me greatly in understanding my own feelings. I've also found solace in friends and family, which has certainly helped. I ask you to please not pay too much mind to this, as i just required a space to articulate my emotions, and you all deserved an expounding of my absence. I wish all of you well, and good luck to those beginning your school year soon! Thank you for your listening. And thank you for allowing and accepting my vulnerability. A special thanks to my close scratch friend: PS: Please excuse my sudden surge in vocabulary, as I've become quite engrossed in my preoccupation of complex locution and terms.
