So. I tried my hand at the create-a-thon this summer, and it didn't go very well. This was due to a number of factors (not least of which was my simultaneous summer schooling and MCAT study) that detracted from time I would have had otherwise towards progress. I made a pretty good dent in the project that I wanted to take on: a prologue, or a pilot, or something of similar theme to the story I've had gurgling in my brain juices for so many years. But it's apparent as I am writing this that I don't have the time to finish it. I'm close, but not quite there. I would feel worse about missing this if I had a larger viewbase and / or if I had been hyping this up. But seeing as all I have are a few regular viewers and a couple scattered comments insinuating that I *wanted* to do something, I've set myself up for a pretty easy letdown. Still, on the off-chance you were looking forward to what I was going to produce, I apologize for the inconvenience. So long story short, I'm okay. A little disappointed, but I know it's not serious. Although I should mention that I've had an epiphany: I want to make this stuff tangible. I want it to be real, and realized to its full potential. I don't care if it becomes the best story ever written and hundreds of people read it and love it. I just want it to be real. And good. And I'm realizing more and more than I can't make that happen in the Scratch costume editor. I've been wanting to branch out for quite some time. But I've historically struggled with change. Scratch art is, to me, like an old pair of flipflops. The straps are coming undone, the heels are disintegrating, and there are more rocks in the soles than in the state of Michigan. But they're comfortable, reliable, and broken in. The problem is, I can't really take broken down old flipflops - or any flipflops, really - on a hike. Or an arctic expedition. Or into a boxing match. Or into space. If I'm going to write / sketch / animate / whatever at the level I want to, I'm headed to all of these places and more (metaphorically speaking). I needed to convince myself to take the scraggly little flipflops I've been wearing for 7 years now, toss them in the trash, and buy a pair of work boots. And I, for whatever reason, found that very difficult. But this summer, for whatever reason, I think I'm starting to let go. Scratch was the first medium for computer artwork I had ever used. I got into it because my friends used it, and from the first doodly little vector I made of Tinrag's hat until the SRcast contest-winning content I am capable of now, I have grown exponentially. That growth is going to help me in the new software I'm using. And yet, as I'm just starting out, I can't help but feel as underdeveloped as that snotty little 9 year-old with nothing but peer pressure and a laptop again. Even with the skills I've built up thus far, I'm struggling to figure out these new tools and interfaces. I don't think it's going to take me as long this time. But it won't be easy, either. So. I think that I'm taking a break from content creation. I've no intention of fully leaving (we've all seen enough of that this year) and I'll still try to be about as active in commenting, community and viewership as before. I don't want to be Yet Another person who has a grand idea but bites off more than they can chew. I want to share this story. But I also want to do it justice. I can do that. This website can do that. But not as-is. Not alone. I'm going to train. I'm going to get stronger. And then I'll come for a rematch, get my 8th gym badge and take on the Pokemon league. You know, that kinda stuff. Once I can figure out how to use the fill tool on the software I've found, I want to return in full force. I want to show you every character and design idea I have clattering around in my skull, just as they were meant to look. Because if I am going to do this, I am going to do it right. Thank you for supporting me thus far. Every digit worth of increase near that eyeball at the bottom of the screen gives me more pleasure than it should. Feel free to check back in now-and-then to see if I've figured it all out. Either way, I hope you have a summer that is restful / exciting / enlightening / easy / other adjective of positive connotation. Take care!
