All My Waking Moments A month. That’s how long I lasted out of the nest before flying back to the safety of what I know. A month ago, we made a decision. A very risky gamble was what we called it. The brave siblings left all they knew in search of an opportunity. New city, new streets we explored. We found a place, one to call home. We transformed it from trash to treasure. It was a safe haven. We looked forward to putting our feet up at the end of the day, eating together, laughing together in the place we made together. Through the enjoyable moment an unwanted nagging thought breaks through. “You destroyed it.” We found a community, one to thrive in. Neighbours, friends, we could wave to people on the street and converse with fellow shoppers. We were known by many, our birthday celebrated by young and old in a community gathering. Again, it manages to shatter my reminisce, the same line. “You destroyed it.” My sister, in that place, she found love. I could see it in their eyes, their actions. They were perfect for each other and were going to enjoy each other’s company for the rest of their lives. This time the 3 words came crashing down, stomping in, abolishing any other thoughts I had. “You destroyed it.” I don’t want to be like this, with every single happy memory destroyed. I fall on down on my knees, right there on the pavement, when I realise that it was all deserved. My actions. My actions are unforgivable. The blood on my hands, the faces that haunt my every moment. I am forced to live in this barely human condition, seeing the betrayal in the eyes of anyone and everyone who trusted me all of my waking moments. It doesn’t matter if I am in a familiar and safe city. It doesn’t matter that I know the names of and locations of all the street signs. Familiar or unfamiliar, day or night, public or private, I fall apart, all the pieces of me crumbling leaving me completely shattered, only for the fragments to find their way back together. I go through this again and again…
I'm actually interested in what I can do and develop with this one so... Hope you like it :) Feedback please.
