RECENTLY HAD IT POINTED OUT TO US THAT WE SHOW VERY OBVIOUS SIGNS OF BPD AND THAT WE ACT JUST LIKE OUR FRIENDS WHO HAVE BPD WHEN THEY WERE OUR AGE- AND LOOKING BACK IT'S SO FRICKING OBVIOUS ALWAYS BEING SO TERRIFIED OF ABANDONMENT TO WHERE WE'VE SHOWN YANDERE LIKE BEHAVIORS, TERRIBLE MOOD SWINGS, ALWAYS BEING EMPTY, AND OUR FRICKING RELATIONSHIPS- OUR RELATIONSHIPS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO UNSTABLE- THINKING SOMEONE CAN DO NO WRONG THEN EVERYTHING COMING BACK AND US HATING THEM IMMENSELY- PLUS IT'S SO COMMON WITH DID/OSDD, PTSD, AND DEPRESSION- We're a bit worried since an old friend said they lied about their parents being abusive because of their bpd, but we have a lot of outside proof about our parents so we're less worried. I have a new psych appointment on Tuesday so I'm hoping to maybe get diagnosed. Can't start therapy until we're 18 but knowing will help a lot. Most of our friends know and they're okay with it, mostly because we're in a community very focused on mental stuff- and then also because pretty much every single one of them has bpd. Just gotta tell our one irl friend, we tried telling them but they just got mad that we figured it out due to non-medical places first. Kinda wanna tell our past friend about it and just see what they say. I wanna see if anyone in person noticed or if it was only clear around people we stopped masking around, and we know the past person is both-
The one bad thing is it's making me question if we really should have cut some people off, even though for one we have lots of outside proof of abuse, the second was kinda an overreaction due to stuff at the moment but we know intense socialization wouldn't be good for our mental health due to past mems + some situations with them having become triggers. Mmmight ignore the others saying to keep them blocked to at least talk a bit, and we know it probably won't be much since they started ignoring us far before we stopped talking. - Snow, Azure Uhh if you're reading this, good luck with your boyfriend
