⛭Sunny Side Up⛭ - A Solangelo Fanfic.

Instructions

☆CHAPTER FIVE☆ (Will's POV) --------------------- ⛭ Usually, when people are tired and alone in their bedroom, they go back to sleep. Will was not one of these people. In fact, he was quite the opposite. He tapped on his knees repeatedly as he looked around his cabin, desperate for something to do. But there was nothing. Will heaved himself up and placed his bare feet on the wooden floor. Fatigue coursed through his bones and his muscles, and his head throbbed. His eyes felt heavy. Will wasn't getting any better. In fact, it sort of seemed like he was getting worse. Will reclined his back on the wall and sniffled. When was he going to go back to normal? When was he going to regain his only purpose? He couldn't just sit there and do nothing. He should be doing something. He should be helping Nico find the meds, or practicing archery, or healing others, or doing literally anything productive. But no. He was stuck in this stupid bed in his stupid cabin with his stupid thoughts. And stupid thoughts absolutely sucked, especially when they're constantly telling you how utterly useless you are. And the worst part about the thoughts was that they were completely true. What other purpose does Will serve? He wasn't good at archery, he wasn't good at music, he wasn't good at swordsmanship, he was barely useful during their quest in Tartarus, and he couldn't even do anything to be even remotely useful at the moment. The only thing he could do was heal, and he can't even heal himself! He was useless. Completely totally utterly extremely exasperatingly useless. Will swallowed down a lump in his throat as his eyes glossed over. He looked to his left, and there sat a small, fuzzy ball of darkness with bright glowing yellow eyes, boaring into his soul; Nico's cocoa puff. The cat-like figure of Shame lay perched on Will's knee, hunched over. As soon as Will looked at it, it looked away. Shame bubbled up in Will's throat. He remembered standing next to Kayla in the Archery range, bow in hand. Kayla hit the bullseye. She turned to Will. He pulled back the bowstring, nocked the arrow, and released. It didn't even hit the target. Kayla gave him a look of sympathy. "You'll get it next time," She said. Will did not get it the next time. He remembered being in Tartarus, seeing Nico run down that hill with Amphithemis on his tail. He'd sent Amphithemis away the only way he knew how. Nico had gotten angry, of course. Why wouldn't he? Will had such a horrible mistake. Leaving Nico alone, and defenseless in /tartarus/ of all places, all because of his stupid insecurities. And on top of that, he had sent the Mania after those stupid monsters, left to wander tartarus forever. Nico's voice echoed in the back of his mind. "Why did you do that?" He'd said. "You left me!" He remembered Nico tending to his wounds in the underworld, all because stupid useless little Will couldn't heal himself--and they hadn't even /reached/ Tartarus yet. And /Will/ was supposed to be the healer. It was the only thing Will was even good at, and Nico still had to do it for him? That wasn't fair. He should be able to heal himself. He should be able to take care of others. But even at the one thing he'd ever be good at, he still wasn't good enough. So many injured had d1ed under his care. So many people had been injured under his supervision. No matter how much he tried, no matter how much he trained, no matter how much experience he gains, Will would never be good enough. He could hear the beeping. The insistent beeping of the ECG monitor on his patient's bedside. The beeping stopped, followed by a long, solid high-pitched tone. He remembered standing in Washington Square Park with his mother, surrounded by Stymphalian birds. He could hear his mothers screams of agony as the birds pecked at their skin, ripping and tearing through anything they could. He stood there, defenseless, as their screams enveloped his surroundings. Other than the piercing squawks, his mother's screeching was all he could hear. His mother. Scared. Defenseless. In pain. And Will couldn't do anything. Will, a healer, a /Demigod/ couldn't do /anything/. Will felt an intense pang of guilt. He lifted his blanket, and, sure enough, next to him was yet another fluffy ball, hunched over. Carefully, Will petted the creature. He could hear it. He could hear it all. The screams. The beeping. The blood dripping from his fingers. The cannon shooting Octavian into the sky. Nico's words echoed in the back of his mind. You left me. Why would you do that? You left me, alone and defenseless. "I left him," He repeated. He wondered why Nico was even still with him. There was no reason to. (+)