more later hihi ! this isn't clickbait, and if you came here to see if i was actually leaving, and didn't really care, have a nice day!! ok soos my irl life condition is deafening and my grades aren't that good either ( a-´s) now that im actually at my level in school, everything needs more effort to get a+ 's. and this scratch thing is only making things worse. i spend like 2 hours on this site! almost every DAY now that's a lot...... and i know why i joined scratch. to make friends bc i was so so so tired of being lonely and never had people that understood me. I wanted the attention I was malnourished of.... I know that's a stupid thing, and I INDEED are stupid. However, people who have been through this kind of stuff might understand.. I was in that broken trio. and I wasn't part of that dou... It comes to the point that even psychically cutting off all my limbs would hurt less than it. middle school is different. i have new friends, and as much as i love every one of my friens and viewers, but i need to focus on humans that i see, interact with, and think about every day. ¨humans need humans to be happy¨ a great quote from my friend. no matter how much you try to validate that people on this website are those humans, and while logically, and technically they are, morally, spiritually, they ARENT there. they aren't there when you were mentally breaking down because of the horrendous recent life events that were happening to you. they weren't there when you were crying because no one liked you. they weren't there when everyone forgot about you. they weren't there when you really needed help opening your locker, with 1 min left to go to your other class otherwise you´d get a d in science. why does these hateful comms exist? where everyone is trying to be weird and ¨special¨ bc it is popular when did being homophobic/ transphobic become trendy ? when did breaking promises and twisting the truth become the right thing to do? when did obnoxiously knocking over and criticizing everything about an opinion become fun? when did excluding be the key to making new friendships? when did saying horrendous and disgustingly mean remarks about other people/ideas become the new bling? all of these "when did"s are happening all over. and i am certain, 100% confident that any single one of my ¨ friends ¨ on this platform would betray me in irl. it might be my way of speaking, or that I was too boring, or maybe the way I focused on schoolwork instead of socializing. its happened before; irl (lets say my friends name is inni ) inni said i saved her, i was the true friend, the one that stuck by her. guess what? long story short, my loyalty was rewarded with abandonment the second she found a prettier, more relevant friend, she went bye bye. 3 days with someone new, and then i was worthless, :) that's how much people care about me. another snippet of reality; again irl, ( lets say friends name is amd ) she had complimented my dancing skills ( i havent learned anything or went to ANY classes and was forced to perform at my schools talents show, bc of my parents) a while back, and like nearing the end of school, we had like a four way soccer game, and amd and my classmate ( and me) were talking. she was talking about how THEIR (our) team was great bc we had a cheerleader ( shes a cheerleader btw competitive ) and a dancer. my classmate asked who´s who, and she replied ¨ im both of course.¨ when he asked about him, amd replied ¨ oh you could be one in 20 years-¨ and when he asked about me she said i could be on in 7 years, "she dances horrendous right now." WHY THE HELL WOULD U COMPLEMENT MY DANCING IF YOU WANTED TO INSULT ME AGAIN? i understand opinions, BUT WHY be nice and then ruin it? it hurts less when they say mean things at first. i mean why? WHY DO YOU NEED TO RUB INTO MY FACE THAT IM THE WORST THING YOU'VE SEEN IN UR LIFE, AND THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN ME ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO STAB ME 5 TIMES INSTEAD OF 1 AND DONE. why? everyone is toxic. i dont want to be in the social stuff anymore, and its not like im a genius and stuff at s-pop and stuff to be real, i'll still continue writing because that's my passion. I guess scratch kinda helped me find my passion. I started songwriting since I was interested in s-pop... then I didn't stop, and found joy creating something based on things I never, and probably will never go through. healthy friendship I'm wanted. cliques love happy life no worries being appreciated incredibly enjoyable flashbacks scratch was kinda like a drug, a drug of a happier life. where people were kinder, and more generous where people didn't give me the stink eye every time I walked too close. I would go on and on, but you get what I mean.. I know that I'm addicted. addicted to this happiness. that's why I'm leaving. goodbye people on this website </33 yours truly; mizu.
