(this is between the time frame of chasmecho's confrontation with snapdragonstar and the upcoming delegation meeting) ✉ ▨ --- ꐑꐑ --- ▨ ✉ he had done it. he was a warrior. tridentrome. "you left your pawprints on all those memories..." but, then why was there a pang of sadness amidst all his pride? without thinking, his paws carried him out to the forest. rex's pawsteps led him to his mother's grave, and his brother's beside it. they had both died too early. but, could he really mourn his brother, when viperkit had barely lived? he would always resent peahenstar, even in her death, for driving his mother to such an extreme as to abandon her kits. "viper... oh, my brother. I should be standing beside you right now, accepting congratulations together..." he whispered, voice lodging in his throat. "it's not fair." "seems like i fought more for you than you ever did..." suddenly, he was in the grass, hitched with sobs. why was the world so cruel? he barely knew anyone in his family, and those he did, he argued with. he was lucky, to have made it this far. everyone he had loved was gone. whether from him pushing them away, like his sisters and peacock, or from untimely death, like his mother and brother-- he had lost everyone. he couldn't allow himself to love anyone else, or he might lose them too. that was why he was so distant with angie. if he lost her... he couldn't bear it. all of these relationships, nipped in the bud. "but how could i mourn what never lived?" he was only one cat, a sinful one at that. he mvrdered cats in cold blood, for petty things like trespassing. the few cats that did care about him were either mad because he had decided to put himself first, or sad because he wouldn't let his guard down. getting to his paws slowly, he wiped the tears from his face with a paw. walking to the nearest clump of bleeding heart flowers, trident grasped a bough in his jaws. walking back to the graves, he gently dropped the flowers on top of his mother's. returning to the forest for a second, he found white chrysanthemums. choking back a sob, he plucked a few and brought them to his brother's grave. "it'll never be the same..." he had come to terms with his fate. he couldn't manage love for another cat, it'd end up sadly. while he could pretend, and indulge in romance, he supposed, he could never be fully invested. he wasn't a narcissist. he was just.... /broken/. "and like a fool, I thought you'd change for me." he would forever be haunted by his demons and ghosts. his victims would never leave his dreams, he constantly heard his brother cry out for help, and saw his mother in every pool of water. "now, I dream of all the lies you kept for me." padding back to camp, he noticed a slow drip of blood stemming from his lower lip. he vaguely remembered that chrysanthemums were toxic for cats. how ironic. quickly heading to the dirtplace, he cleared his stomach with a quick hurl. now, empty-stomached and feeling a bit better, he discreetly slipped back into the warrior's den. ✉ ▨ --- ꐑꐑ --- ▨ ✉ (stop ToT I js recently started listening to hannah's music and ngl this almost made me cry-- maybe I should stick to SKZ for upbeat songs lol) characters :: too lazy haha art:: code:: music:: what never lived by hannah bahng
