" osamu, do you ever think about three years ago when you were always online ? " yes, I do. back when I was known as that cringey furry dsmp stan, right? I still think about those times. I remember constantly being on scratch, not doing schoolwork, and just escaping the reality of my life. " so if you still think about it, why not still do it ? " well, things have changed in the past three years. I've discovered a lot about myself since I was 12-13, as well as matured a lot. so, here's just a life update and how I've been since those years. ✩✩✩ firstly, just about my identity now and what's been going on. I'm still transmasc, yes. that's never changed. neither has my pansexuality nor my polyamory. but if you haven't noticed, my name has changed a lot over the years. at first it was sam, then frost, then star, then many more, and now I'm dazai. the main reason for the multiple changes in name, is because I have severe identity issues, and only recently have I even started to fix that. I'm what they call a "character irl", which is someone who believes they are a character from a form of media. in my case, I'm a dazai irl, from bungou stray dogs. and so far, since I've become a dazai irl, I've noticed my identity issues have decreased a bit. I know this isn't the healthiest fix, but it's working for me. ✩ another major thing that's happened, is that I'm now questioning if I'm a system / have DID. my straw.page has more info on that though. ✩ a few more things: my old partner, which I will not name, is a piece of [swearword]. not only have they threatened a close friend of mine, but they also wished horrible things on them. and I only found out way after we broke up. I've also come to terms that their behaviour in our relationship was far from normal. but I dislike talking about this, so this is all you will know. ✩ I'm still friends with a few of my old scratch friends, yes. I'm also still in a poly relationship with lucky and dewey. it might not seem like we talk a lot, that's because we're mostly on d1sc ✩ so I've noticed I've just stopped posting the gimmicks I receive here. it's not that I don't get them, it's just I find it too much work to post them here, so I only post them in the d1sc server. ✩ as far as my mental health is going, I'm doing as well as I can. I'm still very d3pre$$ed, as well as the kay emm ess one, but I'm working on it as best I can. I don't want to get into the details of everything, but just know that I'm doing better than I was. ✩ and I'd like to make an apology for everything that's happened in the past. I know a lot of my friends hated it when I would post about my d3pre$$1on and stuff, but I didn't seem to realize how much it hurt others around me. I'm truly sorry for that. as for the future of this account, I won't be disappearing from this platform. this isn't a "I'm quiting" post, rather a "I'm going to be mostly inactive" post. ✩✩✩ just to wrap this up since I've been typing for a while, have some art as well as my 2020 alt oc. (click the screen or space to go through them) thank you all for making my life happier. and thank you lucky for making me feel worth something. au revoir, mes amis. -osamu
