no intro for this meme heh lol Credit: Code: @Lunar_Umbreon Art: @Lunar_Umbreon OC: Lunar(Gleam and Dusk) - Owned by @Lunar_Umbreon Song: Bo en - Every Day Inspo: Arvitsy on YT
please do not steal my art or code, advertise, comment hates, or spams. Vent below warning So many bad things are happening to me past few months. Everything is stressing me out. School, friends, families, after-school stuff, scratch...It feels like as if there's always something for me to worry about. When I have too much thing to do, I get overwhelmed and lose motivation for everything. Then, I try to escape them by going here. Which is a bad...habit. My parents are strict, and they put a lot of things to do outside of school. Whenever I get free time, I always go on computer, then they think I'm being lazy. My mother is upset about me for my own hobbies, which is being on this website, because I sit in my chair, staring at the screen for hours. If I say I'm too busy or want to not do something today, she yells at me "Then why are you going on your computer? You're supposed to finish everything before having free time." I literally have something almost every day. That's why I need a break. I really wish I could have enough sleep and time so I don't need to be tired all the time. …and then, when I actually have a break, where I do nothing, I feel extremely guilty. I want to work on something. I’m worried if I don’t study I’ll regret it later. But I also want to take a break. Those thoughts just swirl in my mind forever, ending up doing nothing, then get in trouble, then become more stressed. Going on here is also becoming a problem. I get too scared to say anything, because I have so many people looking at everything I do. I actually want to hang out with more people. I want to ask if we can be friends, or mutuals. But then, I just notice that I'm "popular" so I won't do it. I have pressure that I NEED to post something so people can see it. When I get on front page, I become relieved that people still look at my project and care about me. But at the same time, I hate that people are spamming hates filling up my notifications. Friends. My old friend have ignored me since the start of the year. I am actually unlucky to have same class with that person. She talks to other friend, act like I'm a stranger OR I don't even exist. So I worry about saying a single thing to her. Then, another friend, is having a serious problem. I'm not gonna say it here, but it's really making me stressed out. What I'm keep coming up in my mind is that...I want actual people to worry about me. I don't like myself for being attention-seeker in that way. But seeing other people having nothing while I'm way more busy then others, it's making me jealous. When they cry, people worry. When I cry, I do it alone. I know I should ask for help. But at the same time I don't want to. Alright, so I guess this is almost all of the things I wanted to spit out. Please don't be sorry for me. And I am sorry if I sound too edgy. There are also good things happening, too, so don't worry about it too much. I WILL try to be better. It's just that I'm probably not used to it yet, so I wrote it here as a stress reliever. Thanks to people who read everything, and also to those who didn't too. I might post more vents like this, and in that case, I hope you guys are okay with it. This is the safest way to express my feelings, by drawing and ranting here. edit: I've tried talking to my mom about me being tired and busy. But I don't think she understands it, she's blaming on the internet for me being like this. I don't think actually trying to talk to them seriously works...have no idea what to do now.
