[tw, direct discussion of (can't say it, bad word detector) ideation in the form of little dumb tips that have worked for me <3] so hi- basically just prefacing this with the fact that i've lived (through? i guess is the word?) this, had friends deal with it, and i've sat through allll the presentations that never really seem to work for some. because sometimes you *can't* reach out for help. and it's an unfortunate circumstance but not everyone can talk to their family or their friends or their doctor or whoever. so i hope these tips will maybe help someone or at least bring some sort of attention to this idea. [notes] i used to write goodbye notes to "cope" back when i was at my worst. please don't do what i did and use it as a coping strategy. all it does is just push you closer and closer to that goal, that horrible goal. right now one of the things that helps me is the fact that none of my notes are updated, and a lot of the people i care about today don't have one yet. i fight the urge (i'm lazy too, that helps) to write them and then, whenever i'm really not feeling great, i try my best to remember "oh, hey, you're not done yet, don't do anything drastic." that's part of the reason i adore making new friends, that sounds horrific but i think it's true. and honestly this didn't process in my brain until now, that hey, that's definitely a good thing that making new friends helps stop this urge!! this doesn't work for everyone but it may work for you <3 [hotline reviews] all of these are great and work for different people, find one you like and you feel comfortable using. just a note that, no, saying you're () won't get a higher force involved unless you can't calm down and there's an active danger. https://www.crisistextline.org/ - the main one i use, the experience is touch and go (or at least it was about a year ago?), sometimes you'll get great people and other times you won't find the right fit. i think this one is still a really really solid try, though, and it's often super quick https://988lifeline.org/ - i don't think i ever got the courage to text this one because it looked so formal, but it is a trusted source that a lot of people use https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ - i actually signed up to use this one a while back. the wait time was honestly kind of long and the form scared me a little lol. this one is lgbtqia+ youth specific <3 more: https://findahelpline.com/ [plans] i would say on days where you're feeling good (this is what i do, and i follow this plan to this day), create some sort of plan or guide that you can follow when you're feeling unsafe in any sort of way. mine basically is to journal, if it gets severe do something that requires thought, like my homework, and then contact a friend (i'd suggest picking someone, literally anyone you trust as your safety person <3) or call a hotline. creating these steps sorta is like a safety net, so if you're ever in need you can sorta slow down, breathe, and think about what to do. [time heals a lot] the thing that caused me so much stress back then is gone now. surprising, i know. time may not *heal* all completely, but it does change things. and sometimes that change is wonderful. one of the best pieces of advice- ever- that i've heard regarding this is something along the lines of, if you're reallly struggling. don't do anything drastic *today.* wait a day. wait two days. frick, wait three days and see if it changes. chances are it will. and if it doesn't, you know that, okay, this is something i need to focus on and try to work on fixing. this one's kinda a short ramble but a) there's not much else for me to say and b) i don't want to get alerted haha jst know that you were loved, you are loved, and you will be loved. love y'all daph <33