hey.... nervous sweating..... im back....... soo it has been 9 months since i've posted a project, which is a very long time, even for me! tbh i haven't been very active on here at all, except for chatting once in a while in a GC or liking the occasional project, so i wanted to just take a moment to type this out and just make an update of sorts! not quite sure where to start with this since it has been so long that there are just billion different things i would like to say lol, but i'm gonna start with a little explanation/info on my inactivity as of late :') as anyone who has looked at even a couple of my projects will know, i post my art here, but for a long time i didn't really want to? i started scratch on @bb_bunnie 7 years ago (wow!!) and i was very active and loved posting my art, and i was the same way when i moved accounts to @minamicake. but near the end of my time using that account, drawing started to feel less like a hobby and more like a chore, something i had to do that was a constant weight on me. i would feel guilty for not practicing my art for long enough, but was too much of a perfectionist to feel motivated to try! i thought that moving accounts to @yunflowers (the one i am using now) would maybe help fix this, but it didn't really. in fact, this account's small number of projects is kind of a testament to that. so for years, i was in a drawing slump, the worst that i've ever experienced! i can't say that i never drew at all and didn't improve, because naturally my art did get significantly better over the years, but not as much as i could have if i just picked up the pencil instead of assuming that i would naturally get better while barely practicing ^^" now i realize how silly that was of me, and lately drawing has felt like my passion again, and it's something i want to do and enjoy doing! i feel like a big part of why i didn't want to create art was because of the pressure to post, along with the pressure of balancing scratch with my real life. when i was younger (particularly during my time on @bb_bunnie, when i was MUCH younger), i had more time to dedicate to scratch, joining roleplays and posting drawings and whatnot. now that school is getting a bit more involved, and of course i am a teenager with a social life outside of the internet, i don't really have that privilege anymore. however, this is not all because of a lack of free time. there was a point where i would use this as an excuse to myself for not drawing, and sometimes it would feel true, but also a big part of it was me just not caring that much about scratch anymore lol when i say it like that it sounds very negative, but what i mean is that, during the time when i was using my first 2 accounts, i was very ambitious and wanted to become popular and have lots of followers on scratch! i did end up getting over 100 followers, but that's about it, and while that was something that younger me cared a lot about (mostly because i wanted to be like my role models, who were famous scratch artists), it's just not really one of my priorities anymore. like i said before, now that i'm older i have more schoolwork and a social life to maintain, having lots of followers on this kids coding website isn't as big of a deal as it was 5 years ago :'D but regardless of popularity, i've made a lot of friends here, and i love chatting with you guys! i also enjoy sharing my art here, not for views like before, but just for those supportive comments from my close friends and maybe something to look back on in the future ^^ this is mainly why i won't be leaving scratch, because although my priorities have changed, i still love it here, and i love the people i've met here! i've learned my lesson to not promise to be "more active" after a long break, because i've done that countless times, and we all know how that went :') i won't be posting every week or anything like that, but i will probably post every now and then, a drawing i'm proud of or an art dump with a number of them. even though i've made a big step in starting to draw again, i think to progress even more, i have to stop tying it to "i have to draw because i need to post" and more to "i draw because it's fun and i love it"! most of the time i'll just be chatting with my friends and supporting them, and yes, i will also change my very outdated bio </3 oh i almost forgot! as for the roleplay scene, which has also been a huge part of my scratch experience, i won't be doing that here for now. yes i know i said that last time (shhhh), but now i'm pretty confident i've learned my lesson and will just be focusing on sumire's blessings for a while :p andddd i think that's it! sorry if i went off on a few tangents, i do tend to ramble but i got out what i needed to say so that's what matters hahah thanks for your time if you read all of that, and see you next time! ⟢ yun
