For Wyatt

Instructions

You've been doing great. I love you so so much, really I do. Actually, love is such a freaking understatement. Keep going, really keep going. Then before you know it, I'll be able to hold you in my arms and I'll finally be able to actually be there for you. Everything is gonna be okay one day, I swear to you. Nothing's ever gonna be perfect or easy, but it's gonna be okay. And something you probably already know but I want to remind you of is that I'll be there with you every step of the way. This will pass as well at some point and whilst things may get hard again at some point, that's really okay. And I'm gonna be there. Everytime it gets hard and everytime it's going well, I'm gonna be there no matter what. You're really a great person, I swear that to you. Of course no one's perfect and of course you have flaws, but that's okay! Really it is. Everybody has flaws, that doesn't change the fact that you're a good person. You're not a bad person for establishing boundaries, you're not a bad person for being angry, jealous, or envious, you're not a bad person for being upset, and you're not a bad person for not being okay. You're an absolutely wonderful person and I'm gonna keep saying it until you believe it. You've made it so far, you didn't give up, you're still going and I'm honestly so damn proud of you. I always say it but the reason I always say it is because it's true. I trust you with every fiber of my being, and I'd love to be someone you feel really truly safe and secure around. You don't have to love yourself yet, it's okay not to. But I will make you realize someday that you are truly amazing no matter how long that takes. Until then? I'll carry enough love for the both of us. I'll try my best to give you all the love you should've received from the start because I promise you that you really do deserve it. You deserve everything, you deserve everything amazing. I really mean that. I seriously couldn't bear the thought of losing you, just thinking about it makes me sick if I'm being totally honest. I'm sorry that people don't always see you the same way that I do, I'm sorry that I'm not always there, I'm sorry that I sometimes don't know what to say, I'm sorry that it's been so hard for you, and I'm sorry that I can't physically be there for you. I really really wish I could. But just remember you are worth it, you are deserving of love, patience, kindness, and time, you're strong, and remember that I'll always be here, and if I'm not here? Remember this, remember what I'd tell you, and remember what I think of you. And hopefully it'll make you feel at least a little bit better. And most of all, remember to sleep, remember to eat and drink water, remember to take care of yourself, remember to never apologize for being yourself, and remember to take breaks when you need it. Ilysm.