11 october 2025 . he walked outside in the rain. how poetic, he thought. but there was no romance in his mind just then. he was bitter. he knew this much just from the tightness within him. his best friend was beside him. she was, too. smiling, laughing. completely oblivious. she always was. what would she do if he simply reached out and touched her hand? he would never find out. he /could/ never find out. he quieted his mind as best he could. "go faster!" she shouted. he smiled and ran after her. if the smile was genuine or not was something he could not begin to know. he was too numb. and besides that, he didn't care enough to consider feelings. all he did was bury them anyway. why try to tell the difference between one or the other if he was going to wash them all away? the rain began to torment them. like everything in my life, he thought. oh, shut up. why are you being so pessimistic? he had about a million answers and he refused to hear any. his best friend put a hand on his shoulder. "you alright?" he realised then that his smile had fallen. he picked it up again. "i'm fine, mate. come on, the rain's brutal!" his best friend chuckled as they both ran to catch up with her. by the time they reached her door, the cold of the rain was overcome by the warmth of movement. "thanks for walking me home," she said, flashing her adorable smile as she unlocked her door and then turned to face them. "running," he corrected her, grinning. she laughed. his heart shuddered. what was that quote about bottling a laugh? "i'll see you tomorrow, right?" right. and so it went on. she said goodbye. he waved. his best friend asked if he was all right, and he lied. again. they parted ways. he turned. he looked at her house. he wished he had never met her because he knew he needed to. he swallowed. went home. lost himself with a glass in his hand and prayed she wouldn't notice his ragged appearance the next day. bathed in agony and sorrow. emrbaced his pain, half of which came only from her. half of which stuck in him like a dvgger to the stomach. half of which drove him mad. he slept a couple of hours before the sun. he awoke feeling as if he'd been hit by a truck and knowing he'd have to face half of his pain all over. and he loved her.
