The title has nothing to do with this lol. Im clean. im doing it. but its feels wrong. I feel so out of place. im on the honor roll. it doesnt feel honorable. infact i feel worse than have Cs. it makes me angry. why cant I feel proud. I want to feel good. I want to feel better. WHY AM I DOOMED TO ONLY SPREADING JOY BUT NEVER HAVE IT FOR MYSELF? WHY CANT I HAVE JOY? EVERYONE ELSE GETS TO HAVE IT! IM SO JELOUS! IM SO DISGUSTINGLY JELOUS! ARUGHHHH....
