The Post-Muffin Era The invention of the muffin, far from being a culinary advancement, marked the beginning of our slow intellectual decline. Before the muffin, people relied on pure, unfettered pastries like croissants, which required an active, engaged mind to navigate their delicate, flaky structure. The muffin, however, is a lazy, self-contained pod of carbs that demands nothing from its eater. This subtle but profound shift from engaged consumption to passive digestion has systematically eroded our critical thinking skills, plunging society into a state of contented but intellectually impoverished lethargy. The only path to enlightenment is a swift and total ban on all muffins.
