Updates/Annoucements!

Instructions

Hey guys I know I have been inactive for like 3 weeks, its been hard to find time to be on scratch. High school is so stressful, especially this relatively new school I am at. Its not like new, but it's still pretty new. I started back in late March of 8th grade, and now its 9th grade so I haven't even been there for a full year yet, yet alone half. This school is not like my old one at all to be honest. The school is way more strict than my last one on dress code, and academics. It really puts a lot of stress on me. The main reason I have been offline, is because I can't find much time to be on scratch, during the weekdays or weekends. For weekdays I have school it doesn't get over until 4:00 P.M plus I have sports practice and that goes until 6:00 P.M. I don't get home until 6:30/6:45, and I usually get toppled with homework. That I don't finish in class because I am a slow worker/learner. Some teachers like to give us multiple assignments in an hour class period as well and expect me to get it done in class. Especially in health, I get 2 guaranteed assignments in one hour. I recall a time my class was being very naughty in health one day and all of us got five assignments because they couldn't behave. It was on a Thursday too, so I had to spend my weekend doing that, plus Alegbra assignments! I was mad at my class, when I got back to school. To be honest I don't really like it or enjoy it there. My class is filled with mainly boys and they're crazy, loud, annoying, not to mention disgusting. There is one other girl besides my sister, in my class, I think she is the only normal one other than my sis in that class. The school is also really small so it's kinda hard to make friends. I have trouble socializing because of past experiences, and people always ask Jade and I why we are so anti-social it's kind of frustrating. I mean don't get me wrong I do have some friends in that school, but its not like a lot. It also doesn't help that I do not know any of these people well. I am constantly scared that they're going to harm me like some people in my last school did. I have so much trust issues nowadays I feel like I can't trust anybody besides my twin sister not even my friends, or close family. To be honest my twin is the only one who truly understands why I act the, way I act and what I am going through. I have become this super negative, sad, isolated person its kinda scary. I am learning to get out of it though, its hard cause I have been acting this way because of my old bestie from my old school, used to act the same way and use to peer pressure me to do things. She ended up leaving me for other friends in the end. I learned to forgive her though, and still go to the same youth group as her. I let her turn me into this negative, not caring about life anymore, person. Deep down though that's not who I am. I am still left with the after effect of it, even though I forgave her, my personality still remains. I constantly fight with my parents because I feel like they pressured me into this school I am currently going to, and because of that I really dislike it there. My Dad says he knows a lot of people over in the areas parents saying that their good people. I don't know if I can trust him. I thought my Ex Bestie was a good person and she turned out not to be. My own Dad promised I could go online if I tried the school and lied to me. I just am tired of others betraying my trust. I am. So I promised myself as soon as I got back, to that school that I am not getting close to any of those people. I feel like I don't deserve happiness, and I blame myself for what happened. I don't know if this is trauma, or what but I am struggling. With help from God and help from my encouraging twin sister Jade, I am learning to get out of it. Hopefully one day I'll be back to normal.