[TWs: death, that sort of guilt you feel when someone you know dies, that sort of thing. mourning ] oh no. no. Fjordfeather didn't know what to say, what to do and maybe that had been the problem in the first place. They had started liking Jumping-spiderheart just a few moons before his death, but they hadn't said anything. And now Spider would go to StarClan without knowing that Fjordfeather loved him. His smile, his playful spirit. The time they'd spent splashing in pools together, training together. Fjordfeather a lover who never confessed. Spider a potential soulmate that Fjordie would now never see again. It was a painful love story that left Fjordfeather with many thoughts, but the ones their mind kept circling back to were: /he didn't know it shouldn't have ended like this and I should have told him/ And now Fjordfeather was alone in a black cloak, sitting mournfully by the pools in which they and Spider had used to play, a bow retied around Fjordie's leg where Spider had tied his. A tear slid down their face as they slowly loosed Spider's feather from the loop of their bow and dropped it into the water with barely a ripple. Maybe he wouldn't even notice. But somewhere in Fjordfeather, a small and confident coil of mind that usually fell silent willed that Spider's spirit would see and appreciate it. Fjordfeather felt that they had to honor the kind falconcat who they had loved, for if they didn't, did they have any form of honour at all? If you cannot mourn for someone you love, you cannot mourn for anybody. And Fjordie knew that it was selfish. But at the moment they just wanted to feel like they were doing something for Spider, to try and make up for all of the things that they should have said and done but didn't. And maybe that would help make things ok again. Maybe. Fjordfeather watched the feather drift away. Maybe.
[ Music: This Is Goodbye by @PaulRHJT. His songs are free to use by Scratchers ]
