Vent time- if you don't care about my problems, you don't need to scroll down ----------------------- 1. Honestly, both irl and online, I've been trying to reach out to people for advice, friendship, or some other form of friendliness. But I feel like I'm either too mature, or not mature enough. Too talkative, or not talkative enough. I feel like when I've been trying to reach out, people just smile and tell me it's fine, pretending that I don't drive them crazy. I want real friends, not people who do it to protect my feelings or whatever I'm not saying that this is the way with everybody, but this is what it feels like. I also feel like if I try to act super friendly, it might feel annoying, or like I'm trying too hard. Tbh though, I am kinda trying too hard. It hurts to see other people forming these connections and relationships when it feels like I can't. I also think that when I try to act too friendly, it makes me seem very immature. I bet none of you would've guessed- I'm literally in hs. Y'all would probably guess primary school or something. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but yeah. Whatever. 2. This is the only place I have to vent. I know that might sound silly, but I have nowhere to do this. My family can't afford a therapist at the moment, and at school, I struggle a lot with social relationships. Especially when everybody is so judgy TwT 3. I feel like no matter who I talk to, I'm always troubling them in one way or another. I just want to have a friend. 4. If I could, I'd just walk up to someone I know and ask, "HEY ARE WE FRIENDS OR DO YOU HATE ME?" but I can't exactly do that TwT That leaves me with no option except staying up all night worrying about whether people are just pretending to care about me 5. Okay, I feel really bad about this one... I want to cancel Echoes. It isn't canceled for sure, but... I don't know. There's just something about it that doesn't interest me. It's on hiatus right now, and in this past, I don't know, month? In this past month, it's felt AMAZING not having to worry about it. But I know it's not good for me to keep writing it to make OTHER people happy. There IS a comic I've been working on in my spare time, I'm about five chapters in so far :3333 I don't know when I'll be posting, but I'm super excited. It's the thing that brings me motivation these days. NOT Echoes. ============= ~Moon
