~Warnings: Depression, anger, pushing away support, manipulation, talks of death/murder, grief, we're sad and we're angry~ “I believe you have some things to explain, Snowpelt” a cold voice said, but the words washed over Snowpelt as she stared at the flowers, their petals that pretty bright yellow color. Oh Starclan, a few of them were white already, tufts of fluff that held on so carefully to the stem, so easily blown away by a breath of wind. Her mind drifted back to days past that felt so long ago. Here, with her friends, feeling truly loved and cared for for one of the first times. Here, after Stormcloud had asked her to be his mate, she told him almost everything, and he chose to forgive her. Here, the place, the flowers, that she had named one of her kits after. Here, where the dream the night before her family died took place. She couldn’t look at these flowers without thinking of them, thinking of all she had lost, thinking of when she was happy. Skylight asked “Snowpelt?” Snowpelt laid down, placing her head near a white dandelion, not bothering to respond. There was a pause, then Skylight sat next to her and asked “How long?” Snowpelt stayed silent until Shadow said ‘You need to respond.’ Snowpelt sighed and quietly asked “How long what?” Skylight sighed and asked “How long have you been killing Whitestar?” “You don't know anything.” Snowpelt snapped slightly. Skylight gave her a look and said “I'm not a mouse brain. You clearly know what you were doing with those foxes, and Flowersong has told me how Whitestar has lost two lives since she had greencough, and both times you have been out of camp. You caused that tree branch to fall, didn't you? And the rocks?” Snowpelt bristled and snapped, looking up at Skylight from where she lay, “She took my family from me!” Skylight looked at her and said “So you admit it.” Snowpelt looked away and hissed “Like you hadn't already figured it out.” Skylight sighed and got up, stepping more out into the dandelion field. Snowpelt sighed and asked “What do you want from me?” Skylight looked back at her and said “I want you to stop, but I understand-” ‘She doesn’t understand anything.’ Shadow whispered, and Snowpelt echoed “You don’t understand anything.” Skylight’s eyes hardened and she asked “I don’t understand? I don’t understand loss? A want for revenge?” Snowpelt looked away, snapping “It’s not the same.” Skylight narrowed her eyes and said “It may not be the exact situation, but the feelings are similar.” Skylight took a breath, then continued, “I lost my mother and sister in the span of a day, and I had to be the one to kill the latter. Do you think I didn’t contemplate trying to take revenge against that cat that forced me to do that? Or even his young daughter, who declared Moon dead? I did. I certainly did. But I put the living cats I still cared about that above my want for revenge. I didn’t just give up on them and seclude myself, managing to hurt those I cared about while I became obsessed with revenge like you have.” Skylight’s voice had turned angry by the end. Snowpelt rose to her paws and Shadow whispered ‘How dare she be angry at you? Whitestar took your mate, your kits! You’ve already lost your mother at birth, your father hated you, your sister is a fox heart. What could Skylight ever understand?’ Snowpelt hissed “You don’t get it, Skylight. I lost my mate, and my kits, and Whitestar killed them!” “She was sick! It was an accident! A tragic accident, but one nonetheless!” Skylight snapped back. Snowpelt bristled as she stood “Oh, so now you’re defending her? I told her to stay out of the nursery! And she went in anyways! I lost my family!” Skylight snapped back “Not all of us! You still have Brightspot, and Flowersong, and me, if you’ll let us-” “It’s not the same!” Snowpelt snapped, her voice pitching up as her grief rose to the surface. Snowpelt hissed “I had Stormcloud, and now he’s gone!” “You have Flowersong too, but you’ve been avoiding her!” Skylight hissed. Snowpelt snapped back, words coming without thought now “Yes, because I want to be around the cat who couldn’t save my family, and who would make me talk about it!” Anger came into Skylight’s eyes as she snapped “Oh, now you’re blaming Flowersong? What, is she who you’re going to go after next?” Snowpelt flinched and said “What?! No! But I don’t want to be around her! I don’t want to be around you! I just want to have Stormcloud back!” “Killing Whitestar is not the way to do it! You have to move on! Keep living!” “I can’t!” Snowpelt half snapped, half sobbed, “I can’t ever move on. I was finally happy! And now they’re gone! I don’t get to grow old with him, I don’t get to watch my kits grow up! It’s over! I have nothing left!” “You’re not listening-”
‘She’s not listening’ Shadow interrupted, and Snowpelt latched on “You’re the one who isn’t listening! I’m killing her because she deserves it! She always has!” Skylight said “You need to-” “You don’t understand!” Snowpelt continued, “You’ll never understand! No cat-” “Oh, get over yourself! Other cats suffer too! You’re not the center of the world!” Skylight interrupted, “You can’t focus on revenge with no regard for yourself or others! That’s no way to live!” “Well it’s my life! And I choose revenge!” Snowpelt snapped back, stepping forward, hardly noticing as she crushed the white dandelion.. Skylight retorted in less than a heartbeat, “That’s a horrible choice!” “You’d never understand.” Snowpelt hissed back, old pain rising up, “You can never understand what it’s been like to grow up in her shadow, constantly compared, constantly knowing that she’s the one who’s loved. And when you finally make your own love, your own happiness, she just rips it all away.” ‘She doesn’t understand what it’s like, because she’s not a true clan cat.’ Shadow said, and Snowpelt’s next words spilled out before she thought about them, “You could never understand! You didn’t grow up here! You’re not even a true clan cat!” The crushing, suffocating silence that followed made Snowpelt freeze as she realized what she just said. Remorse washed over her as she softened her voice and started “Skylight, I-” “No,” Skylight interrupted, her gaze no longer angry, but colder than ice, “It’s alright Snowpelt. Fine. I don’t understand what it’s like to be a kit in a clan. But if you think that makes me ‘not even a true clan cat’, then I think it's time for us to stop talking. You clearly don't want to anyways.” Skylight walked past Snowpelt and said “I hope that you have fun ruining your life and hurting and pushing everyone around you. I'm not going to try and help a cat who's so determined to wallow in her own sorrow.” Snowpelt was left speechless as Skylight disappeared into the forest. What had she do- ‘Its for the best,’ Shadow said, ‘You need your revenge, and she was just going to stop you. Besides, look at how quickly she walked away.’ Snowpelt sat down as she listened to Shadow. Maybe Skylight was ri- ‘She was wrong, Snowpelt. She can't understand you, you have to remember that. She says you're wallowing in sorrow, but she doesn’t understand how much you need your revenge. This is all Whitestar’s fault. If it wasn't for her, then you can be happy. You'll never have a chance at happiness until she's dead.’ Shadow said. Snowpelt nodded slightly, feeling numb, looking down at the crushed dandelion, the fluff caught on her paw. Shadow was right. Shadow was always right. Shadow had to be right. Because if Shadow was wrong, and Skylight was right… no. Shadow had to be right. That was the only option Snowpelt could be ok with. Snowpelt had everything taken from her when Stormcloud and her kits died, so she was doing what she had to. Skylight had to be wrong, and Shadow had to be right. Snowpelt’s happiness was gone, and she needed her revenge. Snowpelt slowly lifted her paw, then gently blew off the pieces of dandelion fluff, watching them float away in the slight breeze. She needed her revenge, and she was going to get it. She was going to strip away Whitestar’s lives like Whitestar stripped away her family. That was the only option. ~First~ https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1066586971/ ~Previous~ https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1235994010/ ~Next~ https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1243252209
