hi this is just me crashing out so beware, im adding this after i wrote the whole thing but pls be wary i am just!! not in a good state o' mind but i dont want it to affect snap i love snapdragonkit so much but i.. wholeheartedly cannot think of anything for her right now in kithood. the most i'm thinking for is friendships and maybe dark forest interactions? but even then, what DIRECTION do i go with her? she's innocent right now, yes, but does she go into another murdercat? woudl that be too repetitive? too boring? would she just be all that her prefix is, is that everything she's even popular for? i don't know!!! I DON'T KNOOOWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! i LOVE snapdragon to bits i love her so much but it feels like i can't think up anything good for her and that she's not likable yes, i know i should be roleplaying her for myself, but how am i meant to have an enjoyable character if others don't like her?? i don't know if i want her to be good or bad, ifi want blood on her paws or not is that lal she's meant to be?? another mrudercat for the line? everyone in urchinclan is meant to be evil, of course she'd be a murdercat and if i want to be something spectacular i'd have to think more! but I JUST CAN'T AND IM CRAHSING OUUT OVER THIS am i projecting too much on her? should i at all? should i project on her at all? how am i meant to plan for the future if her present isn't something that brings me any semblance of satisfaction she's gorgeous, she's kind and innocent like how kits are, she plays and she sings and has fun but that's not entertaining! the ideas i had for her in her application no longer sound appealing to me and nothing does and idek what to do! sure, medkit lets me roleplay and front but at this point do i even want to??? can i make a character to live up to her expectations? is she great? is she perfect? i don't know! am i overthinking this? PROBABLY! can i stop? NO!!!!!!! how do i make a cat entertaining? do people want to watch these roleplays? is she going to live up to snapdragonstar? am i going to live up to snapdragonstar's legacy as a character that others talk about with memorable moments? am i even popular enough for it? sorry i think im crashing out too hard there's literally no good way to make her interesting that someone hasn't done before, how do i be original? how do i be good? how do i be something that people would look at and say 'yeah, that's someone i'd approve of' could i have done more with diamondrose? probably not, i don't know???? i could've, or i could've just use dit on snap, i dont know! I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I literally don't know stop!!!!! it feels impossible to form meaningful relations right now for her because it just!! it feels like i don't know!! i don't know how to make it meaningful, she feels less than two dimensional she feels one dimensional and i hate it! but what other personality are you gonna do for a kit??? or a young apprentice? is she someone i can look at and go 'yes. i like this' but she isn't and that's MY fault for not making her interesting!!!! I could've done so much!!! BUT DAMN IT it feels like she IS just her suffix when i never wanted her to be defined by it, but it feels like that's one fo the only reasons she's possible with all the other siblings in the litter doing so much with their kits, making so much art, roleplaying so much, being so thoroguh, it feels like snap is nothing!! and it frustrates me to the point of literal tears!!! im not going to kill her or sneak her out though. i am not a kit-killer. the only time the kits i have die is when its out of my own control im not gonna sneak her out of camp or do anything risky, hell, im scared that if i make her fighggt and she gets an injury that she'll be poisoned!! im so paranoid about her that i want to play it so safe because i don't want to cut her short when so many other applicants could've done so much better! am i even a good pick for her?? should i?? was it all off of a little gag i added for her?? was she even good beyond that? i don't know sorry im actually crying now im gonna just try to calm down LOL
welcome to: an unstable member of a system is unstable how unexpected lyrics ebelow beacuse i like chonny jash "i could've swung in on a swing- done the britney and p!nk thing, and then i coulda linked it to the ups and downs of existence-" "nothing ruins art quite like an audience-- that's just the way it's always been, but your enjoyment is not as important as my self-set glory is. my ego's the only thing you can see clearly through the screen." "he knows that he will always be a rock and roll nerd, he'll keep writing songs the world will never hear- and though they won't be- though they won't be heard, he'll just keep writing"
