✎ [ typing . . . ] ➵ Before I start I will warn you that this project is a full-out nervous vent. It's quite long, and if you're not comfortably reading about my emotions right now I urge you to click off. Thank you /gen --- ➵ I'm leaving scratch, or at least this account, for a while. If you've been checking in with me, you may have noticed that I haven't posted for almost three weeks. If you've been following me for a while, you probably know that that's not normal for me as someone who posts almost every day. And it isn't. I feel horrible right now. ➵ I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. This community has become my number-one priority and it /really/ shouldn't be. I don't feel like drawing, I'm always tired! I don't even feel like checking in for support! ➵ Swimming, school, homework, and the other activities I'm about to do are literally crushing me! For context, I swim eight hours a week, and while I'm sure some of my fellow swimmers might not think it's that hard it is. My team organizes swimmers into groups based on skills level, and one of my best friends and I recently got moved. Practices are /hard/! ➵ I come home most night sore and tired, and the worst part is that I usually can't even go to bed right away, because I have loads of homework that I wasn't able to finish before practice. And even when I do my homework I can't focus because I can't stop thinking about scratch! I have to check my messages every so often, even though part of me knows there won't be any. ➵ And it really hurts. The homework is mostly math, which I absolutely hate! I hate math! It's even harder to focus with my swimming-fried brain and my yearn for scratch. I can't stop looking at my screen only to see nothing. ➵ Some nights I cry because I'm mad about other things or just plain tired. School is /hard/. Swimming is /hard/. And I keep telling myself I'm going to be okay, and I'm really not! I'm tired and in pain, possibly catching a cold, and on top of that I'm deciding to balance scratch too?! ➵ Often it's almost 11 PM before my head hits my pillow, and then I have to wake up early for school too. I only have approximately 2 or less free hours during my day that isn't spent focusing on swimming, school, or homework. ➵ I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, but it's not good. I'm angry, tired, sad, sore, overwhelmed and I don't know how to stop it! So I'm making the decision to leave scratch because this is not something I need or want, and it's just adding to my stress levels. ➵ I also really would've liked to hit my dream of 300+ before I left but it seems that that's no longer in reach. ➵ Goodbye guys. I love you so much for supporting me all this way, but now it's time to say goodbye. - Indy ---
