I just need this off my chest so bad. So bad. okay here's my entire life, as censored as possible. TW: child @bu$3, mentioned su!is!d3, yelling, suff0c@ti0n of a child (dw im still alive) from basically the moment i was born- i was a freaking disapointement- cause i was female. i was born to a VERY s3xist family. Other than my mom, shes fine on that front. i wont bore you with when i was 1 or 2, i'll just go to the trauma- and it lies here- i dont know how to describe it, okay i was 3, me and my cousin (male) brought some toys up from the basement, yeah so guess what? my grandma was in a bad mood. So guess who got dragged down a flight of stairs at the age of 3? Guess who got yelled at for being a kid? me. ofc. dont worry though- it just goes downhill from here. Ugh, i hate this part, anyways, i started playing piano when i was 4. The first time i ever played I got screamed at by my mom. MIND THIS- THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME EVER READING OR PLAYING MUSIC. Anyways, she had a ruler and I'll let YOU interpret what happens next time skippp- ages 7 amd 8 and 9 sucked. this is where all that trauma comes from ill just put major events for each age- 7- i forgot had to write ONE word in chinese, my mom got really mad and dragged me into the bathroom and she was hitting me with a metal ruler in this stupid orange wrap thing 8- she dunked my head into water. 9- she almost suffocated me with a pillow, i passed out. why you may ask? i was crying to myself and she apperently couldnt stand the noise, she told me i was lucky i wasnt d3@d and said it was my fault. and than it just stopped one day. i tried to bury it for years but its so hard to. i mean at some point i stopped running and its so much, ive written so many ------- notes. ive always and still have had this grand plan to get in college and then -------- myself. its so HARD to live life when loud noises make you wanna cry and have a headahe, and certain smells make you ALSO sick and wanna cry. anyways, my parents split up and i moved and am with my mom. the end. (dont worry, i still dont have a therapist.)
You wanna know the worst part? sounds stereotypical this is normal for a lot of Chinese kids/general Asian kids in my community, its normalized to make it seem irreverent and normal, ive seen too much of this stuff and im tired of it- just please. let the next generation be free. And I'm doing this to raise awareness: People, please start paying attention to that one friend that seems just a bit off- they usually have a lot to say. from ,that one kid Eli
