Rosemarydusk was not a good cat and that was a fact prided himself on. He rejoiced in his cruelty, reveled in his attacks, roistered in the pain he caused others. Rosemarydusk did not mind the fact that he was bad. But he couldn't stand the fact that he was a failure. The nightmare had started when he'd woken up. Sun streamed in through the bramble-laden dens of the old territory, pooling in bright puddles on the ground and worming its way into his eyes, forcing them open. He sighed deeply and stretched, the satisfaction of a night well-rested flowing through him. Dark blue eyes scanned the nests parallel to his. Nymphsanctuary and Briarwoodharvest were absent, as were most of the other warriors. Judging by the position of the sun it was already late morning, so their absence didn't come as a shock. Like himself, his siblings were committed warriors. He padded further into the camp clearing and snapped up a shrew, gulping it down as quickly as he could. Today he had plans and he was already late to them. He and Briarwood were going hunting. The brothers never spent much time together, both caught up in the goings on of their seperate lives, but Rosemarydusk always tried to make time to hunt with him. It was a moonly ritual and one of the few things they could do together that never required much thought. It was just them, wandering through the woods together and enjoying the quiet presence of one of the only cats each had known their entire lives. Rosemarydusk raced through the marshy woods, haphazardly crunching the leaves below his paws. He was far too excited to care about leaving a trace. It'd been weeks since he'd spoken with the brother he adored. "Briarwoodharvest?" He called, reaching the spot they knew their brother would be. No response. "Briar?" They tried again, the other warrior had probably just gotten distracted by a squirrel. Silly cat. Silence. "Bri?" Their voice was quieter this time, unsure. They padded deeper in the woods, anxious eyes darting around for their brother as they tried to press back the encroaching tide of panic. They were sure it would be fine, sure he'd be okay, sure nothing bad could have happened. They tried again. "Briarwoodhar—", they stopped dead in their tracks, nausea blooming in the pit of their stomach. Laying in a ditch below Rosemarydusk's paws, coated in blood and muddy leaves, was Briarwoodharvest. He was covered in crimson, so much. So much of it. He was covered in red bite marks and scratches and the permeating scent of copper. The bloody smell clouded around Rosemarydusk, dizziness spinning in his head. "Nonononono" he tumbled forwards, skidding on the fox tracks and leaves and crashing into the limp body of his brother. "Bri— come on, please. Please. Please get up. You have to get up." Red-hot tears streamed from his eyes and tumbled onto his littermate's pelt, mingling with the matted, bloody fur. There were no signs of a struggle, no signs of a fight. Just the cold body of his brother in the woods, littered with wounds that stunk of fox and smelled of sorrow. It was the first time he'd failed. If he'd woken up earlier, if he'd found the body sooner, if he'd tracked down the fox, if he'd known to protect his ever gentle brother, if he'd done something, /anything/ different his brother would still be alive. The event played back in Rosemarydusk's mind as he walked, the vivid flashback it had always been. /Failure/, the word wasn't just once of the past. Cruel though he was, Rosemarydusk had always been naive enough to believe in second chances. But he'd proved more than once that he didn't deserve one The second time he'd failed was when he fell in love. It was a cold Leaf-bare's day, much like it had been when he and Orphictwirl had first met. They were running along the border, splashing in a river and drifting further away from the clan Rosemarydusk called home. Though, really, he couldn't find it in himself to care. Right now being with his best friend mattered more to him than obeying the borders his clan had set. When he was with Orphictwirl everything felt perfect, as though the stars had aligned just to bring them together, as though they were created from the same breath of cosmic dust. He adjusted his posture once more so the flower crown he'd made for Owen wouldn't fall from where it was tucked in his long fur and bounded after the RiverClan warrior, enjoying the flow of easy conversation as the pair ran. He watched as Owen told him about going swimming, smiled as they told him about a crown they'd made for him, and skidded to a stop as they dove into the water with the grace of a swan. He waited only a moment before plunging in after her. He was struck by the sudden, simultaneous feeling of pressure poking at his lungs and the sensation of being cradled by the water. He floundered in the deep a moment before finding his rhythm and slowly, carefully, opening his eyes.
He felt the breath leave his body again. In front of him was Orphictwirl, gliding through the water with an ease he'd never seen in them. Bubbles trailed from their paws and pelt like little stars, cloaked in the swirling lavender fur that floated around them in the water, unrestrained by gravity. He floated in the water, entirely stationary (with the exception of his paddling paws keeping him afloat) so enraptured by this vision of his friend that he couldn't even think to move. He would never forget the little sparkle in their bright green eyes and the smile painted on their jaws, teasing him for looking so foolish. That had been the first time Rosemarydusk fell in love with Orphictwirl, but it would happen many times again. It would happen when they held covert, forbidden meetings at the border. It would happen when they saw glimpses of each other at gatherings. It would happen when they found each other in the smoldering wreckage of the old territories. And it would happen when he pledged loyalty to them on the boats bringing the clans to their new home. The love would remain when the clans docked on the shores of what was now ShadowClan. It would remain when reality separated the pair and they had to leave for separate clans, it would remain when Owen's life began to take a different path than his, and it stayed when they stopped seeing each other all together. No one told him when his best friend died, he'd just known. He'd known in the way he never saw glimpses of a familiar gray-purple pelt at the gatherings, in the way he never heard their name whispered by the jaws of other RiverClan cats. He'd known in the way a piece of his heart had gone missing. And when he heard their death whispered among cats that weren't him he'd known he failed on a level that was almost unbearable. The cat he loved was dead and he hadn't been there to comfort them, hadn't been there to tell them how he felt. Orphictwirl had died and he hadn't done anything to stop it. He'd just let them go, like he had all those moons before. He'd failed them, and this time it wasn't because he was late, it was because he was scared. And somehow? Somehow that was worse. When Rosemarydusk had woken up this morning, haunted by dreams of the screaming cats he'd betrayed, he hadn't expected his own actions to be so immediate. It was almost as though he was acting on autopilot. He had simply gotten up, walked out of the warrior's den, and just kept going. Moons ago, too many to count on all four of his paws, his sister had gone missing. He'd stayed in ShadowClan, waiting faithfully for her return. He couldn't stand the idea of her coming home and not being able to find anyone she loved. She'd been in his dream, screaming and writhing under chains of ice, pleading for his help, begging him to do something to save her. And she was right, Rosemarydusk was tired of inaction. He would not anymore let go of the cats he loved quietly. There was nothing left for him in ShadowClan. His father had died a peaceful death with Rosemarydusk by his side and his brother was buried across the sea. But his sister? His sister was out there somewhere and he was going to find her. "I'll get to you. I promise." Rosemarydusk whispered the words like a prayer as he stepped out of the swamp and into the forest. He would not fail again. -————————————————————————- TLDR: Rosemarydusk becomes a loner and begins a quest to find his sister, Nymphsanctuary. This all took place ~3 moons ago. Music: The Crane Wives - Scars
