i would put the whole story but it is WAYY too long so have these parts that i really like :3
I can feel the comforting hand of sleep tugging on my arm. I take a deep breath, inhaling the crisp scent of fresh rain into my lungs, burrowing my face as deep into my pillow as possible. I can go back to sleep, or I can get up right now and go take a shower. I don’t have to be up this early. I could just as easily wake up at seven in the morning and still have time to shower. I deeply long for my dreams again, though I’ve already forgotten the one I was just part of. Whatever. It’s no big deal. ---------------------------------------------------------- The bottom of my tub is smooth, cold, and bright, like a tooth. Not one of mine. I grab hold of the small metal cylinder attached to the glazed, clear sheet next to me. I shove it a little bit, but don’t completely pull it closed. I carelessly walk one more step. I can see my body reflected in the faucet handle. I hesitate a moment, frozen in place, before I grab hold of it with my right hand and hurriedly pull it forward. My eyes narrow in contempt when the water rushes out, loudly and messily. --------------------------------------------------------- I slowly step back into the water, then turn around with my back facing the wall. As the hot water hits my neck and runs down my back, the cold that I’m used to feeling seems to slip away with the water. Except when the water goes down the drain, the cold doesn't. It holds on, pooling at the bottom of the tub, hanging on by just a thread, possibly, the tips of my toes or the soles of my feet. --------------------------------------------------------- I smile weakly, but it fades into disappointment, too. I’m not really sure what I want my body to look like, honestly—nothing I can imagine or envision fits. I don’t really want a body, I suppose. I’d rather be the cold breeze of wind that blows past right before it’s about to snow, and then disappears or wilts away into nothingness. Or maybe it is simply turned into another bit of wind, blowing past somewhere else. I’d rather be a ray of sunshine flying down from the sky and implanting in somebody’s skin. Perhaps the skin of somebody who doesn’t care. Somebody who knows what they want. -----------------------------------------------------------
