this was during May/June: You know that feeling when there is something mentally wrong with you but you cant just tell what it is? That’s happening with me now, I’m showing all the signs of body dysmorphia but I don’t want to seem like I’m exaggerating. I want to vent to other people, but I don’t want them to think I’m overreacting. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like a piece of **** Also, lately I’ve been feeling SO guilty when ever I eat. Tried not to eat anything yesterday, my parent noticed and gave me food. I hated it. I hate whenever I have to take a shower, cuz I’m always reminded of how disgusting I look. I'm so disgusted with myself. Now, compliments don’t feel real. They kinda feel fake, ngl. Once, my mom pointed out my yellow teeth, which is one of my biggest insecurities. Like, thanks for pointing it out! I’ve mastered how to look happy in front of my friends and family, but now I feel like I’m slowly crumbling. And on top of all this, exam stress is getting too much. It’s so hard to try to vent to anyone, I don’t know how to explain it. I’m always checking the mirror, or I try to avoid mirrors. I’ve also mastered how to silently cry. I’m constantly comparing myself to other girls on the internet. I rather starve myself than be fat. Since I was 12, I was insecure of my stomach. But then it grew, i showed symptoms of body dysmorphia. I’ve searched up “flat stomach workouts in two weeks!” and “abs workout!” since I was 12. I hate my stomach, I hate my teeth, I hate my thighs, I hate my nose, I hate myself.
and this was recent: update: 11/2/2025, 9:19 pm it just got worse. i'm cvtting myself. CVTTING MYSELF. it's THAT bad. and i don't even know where to start. the lack of appetite, always feeling sad and empty inside, masking my emotions, crying silently in the bathroom, having the urge to kms, sh, lack of motivation for ANYTHING. i verbally need someone to tell me to go take a shower at least three times. basic hygiene feels like a chore. i felt so happy these past two days. i genuinely thought i was getting better. loser...but those days were just distractions. i indirectly vented to my dad, said "us teenagers go through some hard stuff. and im not disregarding u adults, i do really understand the problems u struggle with." then my dad replied with this, "well, i disagree. you teenagers have a roof over ur head, clothes, food and water. what's there to be unhappy abt?" then he said "ily" as if that fixes the hole in my heart. my mom called me narcissistic. not once, but twice. and gives me lectures whenever i'm feeling good abt my body or appearance, which is quite rare. but i still love them after all this. its confusing. i'm scared my mom is gonna call me a narcissist when i vent to her abt this. and im scared my dad is gonna say that again when i vent to him abt this. i have thoughts of k!ll!ng myself but i have a younger sister. she's gonna be so confused if i leave. who will she play with? who will she hug and kiss when she needs it the most? who will she tell the tea abt her class to? who will be her idol? i love my friends. but they can never know abt this, i wouldn't want them to worry abt me. i mean, its not like what i'm going through is really bad. there are people out there with much worse problems than mine. ISTG IF SOMEONE REPORTS THI-
