I have been through a lot

Instructions

first, got friendzoned. Next, a best friend went homeschool. then, by a miracle of horrible timing, my parents decided to restrict my video games, which I'm fine with, and initially restricted my communication until recently. I feel as if I may be starting to recover, as now I feel like I'm becoming an unmovable knight made of stone, and that unmovable part was emphasized when the girl who friendzoned me asked me if she could sit where I was sitting, and I, humbly and respectfully, said no and refused to move. I've also found some solutions to a finicky nerf gun, and I feel like it might become like my knightly sword because of how versatile it is and how it fits my playstyle, plus I still have a katana and some martial arts for defense with parrying and defense-by-offense. I've also explicitly stated to the girl that I have officially un-invited her from a party, partly because of how she didn't confirm whether she could make it in time for me to confirm with my ROTC instructor if she was going, and partly to get used to the power I now hold of brutally rejecting someone when It's necessary and being clear about it, and being brutally honest when necessary regardless of if it causes conflict because I have essentially left the conflict-avoiding part of me behind with this new, knightly version that is dedicated to brutal honesty and discipline. I also feel an overwhelming urge to work out again now that I have this new knightly version of me. It's like a perfect integration of my initial two modes, where initially I was split between a hyper aggressive and numb ripper mode and an exhausted mode. now I wield control over the "shadow realm" that was my mental problems, and can use it to be brutally honest but polite at the same time so people don't just see me as mad, and I'm willing to humble myself from my aggression to become like a humble, unmoving stone that others can rest upon. There's also a song I listen to called "Dead Flowers" by Demon Hunter, and it's lyrics are like me giving my condolences to those who might not have made it out of similar situations, those who have been conquered by the "void" rather than learning to master it. It's like I'm a knight who has been forged in fire, hardened in stone, and mastered in Ice