Fire-Lilypaw couldn’t breathe. She didn’t even accompany the medicine cat she practically barreled into the den on, yowling her head off in barely discernable, frantic squawks and cries, as they left to go treat Sunsetcourage’s wing. …To treat her mother’s wing. …Great peaks… How was she supposed to face Sunsetcourage again after that? She hurt her. She hurt her just like she hurt Flintforge. Hurt her just like she hurt Water-Lilypaw… The heavy rains had begun to clear, only a light drizzle cascading down from the still-grey heavens now as Fire-Lilypaw flew aimlessly, her vision swimming and lungs burning. She needed to land, needed to get this accursed mask off her face where no one could see what lay beneath. The hybrid apprentice touched down by a lake- *the* lake she had so, so many memories with Sunsetcourage with. Swimming, catching fish.. It only fuelled the turmoil in her soul, tightened her chest and made the lump in her throat harder to swallow. Fire-Lilypaw scrabbled with the beaked mask as she pulled it off and threw it to the ground, taking in greedy gasps and gulps of non-stuffy, cool mountain air. Her laurels and her cloak were the next to be thrown onto the ground, the once comforting weight of the fabric too hot, too suffocating. The feeling of the laurel headpiece’s weight by her ears too overbearing, the feeling of the ribbons whipping against her too overstimulating. And once she was free of the accessories she dawned, she just.. Sat there for a minute, simply breathing. Trying oh-so desperately to feel the grass and muddy soil beneath her paws. Trying oh-so desperately not to look down at her reflection in the pond’s rippling, distorted surface. Fur messy and tear-streaked, eyes that bore dark circles under them from many nights of little sleep now red-rimmed and puffy. And yet she did anyway, staring at that oh-so torturous reflection. And for some unexplainable reason, the anger and self-hatred that bubbled up under her feathers soothed her in a way. Calmed her breath, sharpened her gaze. “...Stars you look *pathetic*..” There was silence after those words were uttered, as if the very world was stilling in baited breath… …And suddenly, a small dark shape blotted out the small hybrid’s reflection, growing larger, and larger and larger- Fire-Lilypaw whipped around, just in time to catch a glimpse of glimmering talons and brown feathers. And then, a blinding hot pain lanced down the side of her face, neck and snout, a loud shriek escaping her. It was blinding and overwhelming, pain unlike anything the she-cat had ever experienced, and it left her disoriented enough that she felt those talons dig into her again. But it was when she felt herself begin to be lifted did her senses return to her, twisting away as searing pain stretched along her flank, her wings beating wildly and claws swatting to make purchase anywhere she could reach. It was all a blur. Of pain. Of talons and claws and teeth and beak. But by the end of it? Fire-Lilypaw stood panting and shaking on her paws, a dead red-tailed hawk, an imposing feathered creature about the size of her, held down beneath her trembling claws. “..Ow..” The apprentice whimpered, staggering on her paws back towards the pond. Every inch of her pelt felt like it was screaming, she wasn’t sure if this much red was supposed to- Fire-Lilypaw froze, her eyes going wide as she gazed down into the water. …Or well, eye. …Her eye was missing. Coppery blots of red dripped into the water and bloomed like spilled ink as she stared down into the water. Stared at her own face. A face that she hated more than anything. A face that was now *marred* A long, gaping gash stretched from above the brow to below the neck. Another gash stretched across the side of her muzzle, pulling up her lip and revealing pearly teeth. Other miscellaneous wounds scattered across her body.. But her eye? It was gone. It was gone, and in its place was a red, gaping hole where it used to be. And at that moment? Fire-Lily no longer saw herself in her own reflection. No, she saw something *worse*. For a moment her vision blurred, and she could have sworn that staring back at her was another cat entirely. With a snowflake speckled pelt, two straight and sharp purple horns and eyes that gleamed crimson-
“N-No!” Flily gasped, staggering backwards, feeling her world tilt on its axis as she tripped over her down tail and fell flat onto her back, wings flared out. “No.. No no..” She panted, scrambling back and staring at the water’s edge with an expression that could only be described as hysteria. “You’re not her.. You’re *not* her..” She whispered, squeezing her remaining eye shut, as if that would chase everything away… And when she reopened her eyes- no, eye? Her half-blinded sight landed on her discarded articles of accessories. The dark lenses of the beaked mask flashed at the rays of light that peaked through the murky skies caught across the glass, as if beckoning her. Telling her that *this* was who she was meant to be. A cat, who’s face was just a mask. A beat passed. Then two- Before Fire-Lilypaw stood again on shaking legs, hobbling over to where her items lay. First she fastened the cloak over her shoulders. Then the laurels atop her head. And when her paw reached for the mask? She hesitated for a moment, red-stained claws twitching outstretched, before they hooked on the dark leather, and was pulled over her face. Resealing the fate and identity that Fire-Lily already knew. She was nothing like her... She was worse.
