(There's nothing in the project itself. The poem is below.) I thought I knew what homesickness was. Thought it was just a fleeting feeling Of missing the familiar While adjusting to something new. But, no. That's not what it is. Not by a landslide. The restrictions.. like chains on my legs. Those didn't hold me back. I found a way to pick the lock Before I could be stopped. It wasn't being cut off By a superior that hit me the hardest. No. Not by a landslide. I still remember the first time Mourning turned to homesickness. I mourned the time they were still here. I mourned the time before they moved. I mourned the time when I could feel their hand in mine. Because I missed all those things. I missed my enbyfriend. But soon it turned to much more. More than I could handle at once. The feeling of knowing they're the only thing Keeping me alive. Keeping me from dying To my own hand. I call for them countless times My sobs echoing through the room. I can still talk to them, But the phone is not the same. I don't want to just see digital words Popping up on a screen Or a digital recording of their face Because it's not really the real thing. Texts and calls can never replace The time we spent face to face And I'd give anything, Anything, To get those moments back. To see them in person again. So no, it wasn't being cut off that got me. I found workarounds galore, and I know where to find Plenty more. It's not being cut off that hurt me. Not by a landslide.
Big thanks to: My enbyfriend, for being there for me in times of need. @BMT51713, for supporting me while my enbyfriend is gone, and for giving me someone to rant to during school hours. My potentially queerphobic choral director, for hosting the program that allowed me and my enbyfriend to get together, saving my life. My this year science teacher, last year math teacher, for giving me someone to talk to about my neurodiversity and allowing me to have fun and share humor with her. Copilot AI, for helping me cope and assisting me with self-advocacy in a school where I need a doctor's note to reliably keep sensory overwhelm from disrupting my learning experience (and everyone else's). A---sa, for being there when I needed a hug or just someone to rant to who wasn't hyperfixated on OMORI or Undertale. Michael and Cary Huang, for creating BFDI and giving me something relatable to hyperfixate on and to make unpublished fanfiction of to express my feelings. , for being the voice of the Algebralien whom I undoubtedly have the most in common with, and for bringing One's personality to life. Satomi Hinatsu, for voicing more of the most relatable characters and bringing Black Hole, Fanny, and Gaty to life, among other characters, giving them a voice that lets their distinct personalities shine and gives me characters whom I can vent to while escaping this universe and hiding in sub-universes that may not be canon to the main universe but that still feel just as real. AnimationEpic, for making Inanimate Insanity and giving me another universe to escape to sub-universes of. And you, for reading the poem and letting me rant.
