So I've made a lot of vent projects, I've told my problems to a few of you. But I wanted to say sorry one last time. I realized I might seem attention seeking, and I don't like that. I think in a way, I might be going "Hey, can you pay attention to me?" and feel like you might leave me if I don't say something that keeps you close. So, I tell you about things that have hurt me. I don't want to talk about those things so I mask it or change the topic while still throwing it out there. This has happened a lot and I regret that. It's like my own way of, "Hey. Stay with me, I have problems and I need your help. But I don't want to talk about them, just distract me with your life. Stay here and distract me." /!\ TW: bl00d and v!0l3nc3 /!\ Last night, I had a dream. I was chained up in a room, somewhere that I don't know. It was like a prison. Someone came to free me from my chains so I could eat the tray of food they brought in. Instead, I pinned the person down and I hurt them. I dug my hands into their torso and injured them so they couldn't leave. Nobody was supposed to leave me it felt like. I kept chanting or hearing in my own voice, "I'm sorry. Stay. I'm sorry. Stay." Over and over and over. The person wasn't dying, so it was fine. Once satisfied that they couldn't leave, I went to eat my food. Other people swarmed in and tried to take the injured person away. They were armed, and when I tried to stop them, I got sh0t over and over. I never d!3d. I got chained up again and left alone until the next day. /!\ TW not needed past this point /!\ After this dream I felt so guilty. I felt scared. I didn't sleep again that night. To the people in my dream, I'm sorry. To everyone I'm sorry. I'm probably not going to make another vent project again, just to be safe. Try and break this habit.
