(This is just a joke, do not take this seriously!) WARNING: AT 6:00 AM DECEMBER 1TH, A STRANGE UNKOWN FIGURE CALLED “Mariah Carey” WILL ATTACK COLD ISLAND, LADDERS AND LIFE BOATS HAVE BEEN DOCKED ON THE BELOW ON THE RIVER STACKED WITH MATERIALS, ALL LEADING TO DIFFERENT ISLANDS. PACK UP YOUR BAGS, START RUNNING, AND ESCAPE IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.