2nd vent of the year probably Idk how to start it off, but 1st of all srry i haven't been posting a lot, and i haven't finished most of the requests yet im sosososo srry I'll try to finish it soon, I'll fix some grammar errors here later I've been losing ALOT of motivation lately and I feel like im only doing it for the sake of getting likes and doing tasks and its feels rlly sad /gen I dont rlly feel passionate about my art anymore, every time I try to draw anything other than requests, it either becomes a WIP for a long time or i just scrapped the entire thing, and whenever I see posts of other ppl's art I just look at my art for a moment and question it, I am NOT blaming on them, I feel proud of them for freely expressing their own ideas infact. I often pity myself for not contributing to my own life enough and just sit around in bed watching yt instead, I also kept getting a lot of reminders of why I can't doodle during class hours and some ppl gave me critiques I never even wanted which made me feel more and more jealous of other ppl and is probably why I dont draw that much anymore Here's some updates in my life recently:: 1. I started getting interested in making journals and diaries but after a few weeks i found out the boys in my class read the whole thing and it genuinely had me in shock and FYI it had sensitive topics abt my mental and my physical health, AND THEY EVEN RECITED IN A MOCKING TONE i immediately lost my interest in writing and even slowly started to hate it. I hate everyone in my class sm they're the most insufferable human beings on earth, I was abt to add more but it was actually rude tbh But that was last month I got over it, and uhm small update, I dont rlly hate them anymore im ok with them now I just find them funny XD 2. One of my friends got me into crochet lately, it actually got everyone INCLUDING the teachers interested she decided that she's gonna give us a project abt it (we had to make a hat lol) I felt excited until i actually did it . It was actually WAYY harder than i thought, IT TOOK ME AN HOUR TO FIGURE OUT ON HOW TO MAKE A SLIPKNOT I ran out of yarn halfway and it sucks so I have to use very old and crusty yarn, I had to give my hand a 20 minute break because of how rough it was and it took me almost a month finishing it bc i restarted (i missed 1 crucial step T_T), I rlly rlly hate it, the colors of the yarn looked inconsistent and the corners looked very wonky, when I wore it OH GOSH I LOOKED SO UGLY I HATE IT WITH A BURNING PASSION, but after all the complaining I started crochet my own trinkets and crafts, I should've bought more colors of yarn tbh (I only bought 2 shades of blue and white lmaoooo) my 1st craft was a cake roll keychain and its currently a WIP lol I might make a project on showing EVERYTHING I made for the past month (doodles, papercrafts, crochet, origamis etc.) 3. I've been thinking abt making a bracelet business (ONLY IN MY SCHOOL) but only bought a few beads and thinking abt buying more at 3rd quarter which is next year lol, i actually wish im not gonna transfer after graduating, bc I will rlly miss my friends a lot, speaking of friends they actually made my mental health a lot better effortlessly, they do annoy me sometimes but they are rlly nice, they helped me make OC lore ideas and my art style alot better theyre also rlly fun to be w/ like when both of my friends yapped to me abt ninjago and stranger things and made me interested in themi actually had alot of fun listening to them, they actually rlly mean alot to me I rlly love them sm and including my online friends for being awesome ofc >:] <33 /p I also found a small shop in school, they sell custom pins and I tried contacting the seller, he was actually rlly nice lol, I talked to him as if he was my online friend which I lwk regretted but he was pretty cool w/ it (this guys was like 6-7 (NO PUN INTENDED) yrs older than me idk what overcame my social anxiety but yea he was cool) I was also their 1st customer who came from the elementary school XDDD (I felt proud) Count how many times i said "rlly" and "alot" I dare u LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLLL THIS FEELS MORE LIKE YAPPING THAN VENTING And while typing this i felt alot better now, also listening to some of my old fav songs back in 2024 lol :D woah this took a wild twist, I came from depressed and came out happy anyways baiiii hope u have a good day/evening :]
