Yesterday was the first day of school. Brooklynn and Carson, are dating, they are two of my baddies, but they show a ton of affection. To the point where the non-homophobic orchestra teacher had to talk to them after class (nicely). But last night I cried, thinking I wasn't worthy of being loved and I wasn't worthy of loving someone. Im jealous of it, I don't have a grudge against them, I just want to have a gf so badly, one that will talk to me, love me, maybe kiss me, idk. So today, at lunch, for ten whole minutes, I just sat there, head down, doing nothing. I couldn't listen to music, I wasnt doing anything. No one asked if I was ok. Skip to 6th period (class after lunch), and I was short of breath, nauseous, I was breathing but it felt like I wasn't, my chest felt tight and heavy and everything was kinda blurry. Carson asked me if I was okay, I said no and explained to her. She walked me down to the nurse, and I found out I was having an anxiety attack, and my heart rate was up, alot. Im clearly alive and fine or else I wouldn't be typing this. But it was my first panic/anxiety attack I've ever had. I also met this new girl, Nissy, I think I have a crush on her. Update: NISSY IS MY GF!! Update: I broke up with Nissy, we didn't talk much and I barely knew her. Carson and Brooklynn broke up too. Me and @Silly_Goober_s are no longer friends, he's been a jerk to me, alison, brooklynn, and Carson, he wasn't great for my mental health so, I had to unfriend him. He also called me and Carson some rude things, I understand, I'm not perfect and I did call him some slurs and rude words, so yeah. idk the future of alone girl, I may also be working on other projects, so teasers may drop at some point. Update: (MAJOR) So, I started dating a girl named Ryleigh. Today, september 18, is my sisters bday. I told my GF I loved her. When one rises, one falls... Brooklynn and Carson broke up. Update: me and silly goober are friends and Brooklynn and Carson are back together, but they have to go to therapy, aka me. Update: I just saw my gf in her show choir dress and she looks so beautiful omg I love her so dang much. Update: Ryleigh broke up with me. Her dad is homophobic and found out. Brooklynn and Carson aren't dating. Brook has a bf now. Silly Goober got me into Katseye tho, so YIPPEE. Im suffering from bad cramps but I don't think I'm on it. Im in homeroom rn I'm gonna crash out! Some kid was talking about baby oil and lotion, and the sub said d*ddy party. What is wrong with my school. Update: Me and Carson are dating, wish her a happy early birthday in the comments, but her dad found out. I also almost x_x to myself. WISH ME LUCK BADDIES! She said she can't date till 9th grade so we broke up. Update: I got put into a m h for 6 days for almost myself. Update: Im homeschooled. Bro my mom is making all the Alexas in the house play House Tour by Sabrina Carpenter. Im mad at my fyp bc all I see is funnybunny but I ship ragpom and it's fr p*ssing me off. BRO I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT RIBBITRABBIT, IM SO IN SHOCK RN MY GLASSES ARE FOGGY. My mom gave me garlic bread:3 I auditioned for a 3 little pigs rewrite AND I GOT A CALLBACK, OH YEAH!! Someone tell me why my dog is tweaking, btw it's his bday! Update: Guys, I dont know what to do, I need suggestions, my mom called me an ungrateful a-hole and was just mad at me for not eating bigger crumbs on my plate?? What? I can't runaway to my dad's bc he lives 2hours away and I can't do anything else. pls help. Update: Tell me why my teacher is talking abt- hold up I think the word is erm sleep- WHY DO I HAVE PE FOR HOMESCHOOL??? CARSON HAS BEEN DATING ANOTHER GUY FOR A MONTH, DONT WORRY, IM CHILL WITH HER!! Update: I MADE A FRIEND! Her name is Mariana and I worked with her in science!! I think I'm delusional, there's a girl in my Creative Writing she was really pretty and playing bass guitar and I emailed her and told her she was cool and pretty but idk if she will even reply TvT Update: I got braces TvT GANG IMMA BE SINGLE ON VALENTINES DAY!! NOOOOOOOO Update: I think I'll be okay guys, I made it, I'm alive, and Im happy! Thank you so much to everyone that has supported me, helped me, and just views my projects! TYSM!! Update: My mom lost her job... Update: So, I've been manipulating Carson pretty much for info on Brooklynn and Carson's 20TH RELATIONSHIP. So I pretty much email her alot and my dumb ahh accidentally got back with her bc she asked and this whole time, I've been on Brook and Alison's side and hating her and shes a huge red flag, but she understands me, pays attention to me and my panic attack, I just love her, even tho shes a bad person. UGHHHHHH Update: Ali ghosted me...
Update: I got accepted to the school I going to, and I think I'm finally over my friends and old school, I just want a fresh start now.
