everything made by @pikachu47254725 (man that personds awsome) here are some dad jokes I am a frad for the calendor it days are numbered. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one! I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage... I lost my case. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food,but no atmosphere. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. When does a joke become a "dad joke"? When the punchline is a parent. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. What do you call an illegally parked frog? A toad. Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... then it hit me. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's "R," but it's really the "C". What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta. "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me." What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta. How do you organize a space party? You planet. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents! What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat bars. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buck-an-ear. What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick. I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never really took off. The man who invented the doors said he was very proud of his invention. He said it was groundbreaking. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner. My wife asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in the living room. I said maybe. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work! What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore. I would tell you a joke about a pizza, but it's too cheesy. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. Where do you find a one-legged dog? Right where you left him. My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy and the other is a little lighter. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers! I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke him up. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-tain. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. The library is selling a book on how to drop things. I can't wait to pick it up. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know. What rock group has four guys that don't sing? Mount Rushmore. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it. What’s the difference between a well-dressed man and a tired dog? One wears a suit, the other just pants. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine. Did I tell you my joke about the roof? You'd probably find it over your head. My first job was at a blanket factory, but it folded. Why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their butt-quacks. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador. I'm thinking of selling my vacuum cleaner, it's just gathering dust. Why did the developer go broke? He used all his cache. read them all pls
