hi. lets start this off by saying prepare urself bc its bad. my school is really strict, and we use school computers- on our school computers there is a 'restriction' website called "SECURLY" and securly basically blocks websites the school doesnt want us on ex: pixlre, z3p, all social media, INCLUDING YOUTUBE (even if its for reaserch), most learning websites. we basically have more websites we CANT use than how many we can. now- heres the problem. my school issued another update to our computers this morning. it just made the resources we could accsess even more scarce TT they banned a little website i like to go on from time-to time called scratch.mit.edu . . . ik it sounds stupid but i might acc cry. the reason y im sad is bc I DONT HAVE A PERSONAL DEVICE (other than my phone which is smaller than a toothpick so how the heck am i supposed to even type on that) this basically means i cant go on scratch. now u may be wondering how im typing this rn, well its bc im on my friends computer rn. no some of u r gonna say "js keep doing scratch on ur friends computer" guys i cant go to my friends house every day and someone is going to say "js keep doing scratch on ur phone" guys if my school is this strict imagine how strict my parents are bruh i get my phone for 0.1 second a week AND YES, someone will also say "js hack it or smth" guys i do freaking scratch BLOCK CODING im not 'hacking into the mainframe' inspector gadget type im js so sad rn, i hv so many freinds on here, so many ppl i talk to + sing w/ not js that, im in several groups too- and im held accountable for doing all lines, making music, whatever. also this basically means all my work and projects are just going in the trash. its the middle of the year, so one semester left until im in hs (yes im in 8th grade. pls dont cmnt abt this)- maybe then ill get my own computer then but like i said my school is strict so hs is js gonna be so busy for me i might not even have time to do scratch. if any of u have suggestions to help i might not even see them. whats crazy is that i js became a scratcher too. im lit gonna cry. this amazing comm has been so kind and friendly to me i dont even know what to say i guess maybe say a few things? idk. im basically leaving without having a choice. AND I WAS GONNA RELEASE MY 1ST ALBUM TEASER (all og songs btw so tysm school CFHBJGCGFFH) IN LIKE A WEEK sighh sorry im so mad and sad and honestly i guess i need to come clean abt a few things since this may be my last proj, i js wanna say smth lol this might shock u im i used to be an aes commer b4 i found out abt spop. this was my old main before i got banned (i was accused of being someone named and ive never heard of them b4.) this one is a little more deep, im also i really truly wanted to stop drama in our comm since on of my friends was cyberbullied. i had a few projs ready on there already. one was abt spop tea or wtv, on was abt stopping cyber bullying, one was abt how to get hep if u feel uncomfortable online, one was abt h@.rnm!ng 0n3s3If i had more too.. so yh i have a few accs. (prob close to how many yooni has if im being honest) some where alts, but some were different people entirely. i dont know what its called, but i struggle w/ finding myself sometimes. i hope i dont sound 2-faced i hv some more, but they are all old aes comm accs. now this is acc kinda serious.. i am diagnosed with depression+ anxiety + w/ mild dyslexia. also i used to have severe ptsd after having something happen irl. if this sounds familiar to some of u, its because i said this here: yes, i am (rhea) haha! got u good ! haha. ha. i'm not joking. since im being honest might as well say this: i hurt my$3lf. (*) at one point, i wanted to js.. d!3 sorry for venting ik this is rlly serious. when i was an aes commer honestly i was rlly fake, not in the bad way but in the "im not actually as happy as i seem" kind of way?? idk irl too i found a few spoppers w/out even knowing it was spop and instead of doing it* i would listen to their music. i liked the a lot, simons music is rlly relatable sometimes im 1 yr clean now, and im getting help. idk what to say, sorry that was a lot of info all at once and i hv so much more to say. one of the things is sometimes i got lonely so u could see me talking to myself from this acc to lol lol./sarc im really sorry. im sorry for lying abt my accs. (my name is akira, not rhea)
UPDATE: I did get tested for DID, turns out i have it- i dont rlly know what to say, if you have any tips or advice on how to help deal with it, pls lmk ❤️-jan 20 (cont here bc desc limit) im sorry for not teling ppl how i feel. most of the stuff on @r3ajuly is where u will find the truth. i hope i dont sound crazy and im srry if this is the last time i see u again. ill try to do lines on my phone, but there is no way ill be able to get on bandlab or release any of my own songs. ik this is probably too mcuh feelings js for a coding site. sorry ig this is goodbye then? ill still be on once in a blue moon on my phone but ig then- this is.. it. . goodbye.. "until next time ^^" -akira +i wanna js thank some of u. u guys rlly r too kind i dont know most of u that well, but u mean sm to me even if u forgot. (in no particular order) @-tallyinghalls- ; simon u where the 1st person i told online abt it*. tysm again abt what i said on @r3ajuly i rlly did mean it. ur music is amazing. @_-EncoreENT-_ ; i will do my very best to do lines on time, u made me so happy when i found out i got in ur group theatre is such a good spop idea u r so creative js keep doing what ur doing @rosieluvsyou_ ; when i was on @s1ngerella u where one of the 1st ppl i met in spop and im so grateful it was u. u are so amazing and kind to strangers here, thank you. @dolle_ent ; we exchanged i think 1 comment thread, it was on ur prf and i said i liked ur banners a lot, and u responded on ur other acc @yoonisu and said thx. then i asked if we could be friends and within idek how long, u said yes. we never rlly talked again after that but, that small exchange made my day. ty @suppothe3rd ; ur covers r rlly good!! u hv so much improvement!! remember me when ur famous ok? ty 4 being such a good friend to js some stranger on a screen @Dawniesworld ; ik ur banned rn, but ur so kind to me. i think i knew u for the longest (even if it was prob js a week or 2) and u where always so positive. dont loose ur smile @_Unnie_ ; ur sets r rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly good !! u made 2 sets for me in general one on this acc and one on @r3ajuly . ty for being so nice + kind even w/ my anoyingly specific reqs @spop-summarized ; u were so nice to me on @spops-drama , we talked like maybe 1-2 times but u really do give hope to ppl. @Safood ; safiya i didnt lie when i said i looked up to u, after i officially joined spop u where the 1st person i listend to and imediatly became a stan <3 i wish u the absolute best in ur journey and dont forget our small exchanges @fluffyland_official ; i am so happy to be a part of flowzeye onestly the talent in ur banners is so good and im so sad to not be able to talk to u as much bc u handle things so well even w/ the line prob thing u where so profesional so i aplaud u @day-ent ; sunk1ss3d is succhchcch a good group u knew exactly what u where doing and im rlly sad i wont get to talk to u as much anymore @Snow_labels ; im so sorry i cant participate in project dna anymore, i wish u best of luck w/ all the trainees. <3 @Happy_ent ; like ur name, i so happy and blessed to be a soloist under ur company. unfortunately i am resigning now but ty for giving me that oppurtunity. ik i never debuted but.. u where so kind <3 @saucemusic_2 ; like the others, unfortunately i have to resign from being a soloist. thank you so much for giving me a chance. @Jxde-Labels ; ur svs is so so so smart and i really hope all the participants do so good! unfortunately, i do have to leave now. so to all the prticipants gl !! @LilyEnt ; ur banners are absoulutely beautiful !! + im so happy to be a part of 24ever but its js too much rn so im sorry but unfortunately i hv to leave the group. ty for giving me a chance. @prkjiinn ; we met breifly over prfs <3 stay proud girl be who u are and i rlly wish we could've been friends longer @dollcwke- ; u were so nice to me on @r3ajuly , ty for js making me smile for a little bit. <3 if i left someone out, im sorry. i would say 'lmk' but i might not never know today is prob the last day im on scratch so ill savor this lol . even if idk u, thank u. for taking the time to read all my scrambled typing w/out even getting to the point. ty for caring. so, fr now- goodbye ♡
