The abused never realize they are being abused, the abuser changes their life forever and leaves scars nobody sees. It took me 13-14 years to realize people in my life were treating me wrong... I thought it all was normal, I believed those who claimed to have trauma were just weak... I thought therapy and crying was for weak people... I learned a lot through studying psychology and slowly being revealed truth by people. The first time someone told me I was being abused was ironically someone else who was abusing me- That slowly opened the flood gates- I told him what my home life was like and he was like "Yeah... I think it's abuse...". They likely don't mean to, they just don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. It's more likely in youth, which creates more abuse in a cycle, everyone needs at least 1 healthy relationship; whether parent, friend, romantic partner, etc. I don't know if I have any tbh...