[ Failure: an Abalonestar SRP ] TWs: grief, self-deprecation, death 83 moons, they/them, wearing inventory cloak ============ If Koidash was in the stars, Abalonestar had been walking in a daze ever since. If Koidash was on earth, she would have been at her kits' apprentice ceremony. Abalonestar remembered that moment very clearly. No speckled pelt was in the crowd; no voice of hers rang through the air; no mother came forth to congratulate her kits as they advanced through life. Koidash had not been at that meeting. If Koidash was on earth, she would have been at that meeting. But Koidash was not at the meeting, because Koidash was dead, in StarClan, and Abalonestar had been in a daze ever since. A vague version of that realization had been what had shocked the dark-furred tom at their kits' apprentice ceremonies, burning away the fog. For a while, the haze put up a good fight, but truth is persistent, and its glare blinded Abalonestar a few nights later as they sat alone in camp. Koidash was dead, and Abalonestar hadn't really given a catfish's whisker about it. They weren't walking around puffy-eyed, no, they had spent the last moon thinking about absolutely nothing. To say that the truth blistered, blazed, and blazed was an understatement. It seared Abalonestar to the bone. Dasher deserved so much better. They couldn't believe they had ever been so salp-brained as to call themselves her mate. What kind of lover (even a somewhat estranged, maybe-not-in-a-relationship-anymore lover) didn't cry for their loved one? Koidash had brought unimaginable light into their life. And what did they do in return? They wrecked their relationship. They took away her name. They failed her, over and over and over again. They were failing her now; he couldn't even grieve her like she deserved to be. She was dead, he was actively failing her, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Unless...? ============ I didn't edit nor revise, so please lmk if there are any typos! Koidash owned by @LittleDaVinci Writing by @AuroraPrariealis Role-play is @tss-roleplay, made by
