dear diary, my life's changed in a million ways, my mind swirling in thoughts. let's just say, it's both good and bad. middle school's different from elementary to say the least. i miss the memories, every single one of them, as if a feather of a coat is leaving me behind. my old self is slowly slipping away into the darkness, i try my best to retrieve it back, but that strength's disappearing from my sight. people have called me weird in ways i thought were normal. my personality is so-called weird. i'm quite talkative and i laugh tons, just not with people i'm not comfortable with chatting. my traumas, my weaknesses, my turn-overs. life became a new adventure. an adventure to seek new opportunities in life. trying new things. trying a new entrance towards the future. missing from my view, is a world where it is greatly appreciated. a world where it feels like heaven, happiness, peace, no judgements. this is what it feels like, to have an american dream. i've never once so thought of a such thing called "american dream", but apparently it exists in our lives, perhaps it was just invisible to the naked eye. my eyes. shining in caramel toffee brown, the color of dried crunchy leaves on the surface of earth. my lips chapped to a hearty pink. walking around the neighborhood, wearing a sweater on december 3rd. every home is decorated with christmas decorations, christmas ornaments, all sorts of feelings that shall be cherished forever and ever. christmas will be here. i'm partially excited for it. songs worth of joy, hope, sadness and salty tears. this is what the other part of me is like. my authentic self during christmas. chilly weather frightens me as the cold air seeps inside of my jacket and air becomes difficult to breathe. school is the most exciting around this time of year. fixing new year's resolutions. sleeping early, fixing habits, growing taller, having a newer version of myself that the past of me cannot recognize no more. december 25, is just another night without who i am true with. i will forever cherish life this year and beyond, celebrating the smallest achievements, looking at the window every morning. it's almost christmas, it almost seems magical. downtown, malls, decorated in a breathtaking view, this time of the year. 10 days left. as it replays in my mind, setting a imaginary timer countdown for one of the most happiest times of the year before a new year approches. the line of lights spread out like stars, stars of our universe. bright and tiny, but brave and confident to shine in the darkest times. this is what christmas feels like. JVKE RELEASED "this is what christmas feels like" GO LISTEN TO IT BY PRESSING THE FLAG
