a vent of my life and my first post

Instructions

so this may be a long rant but its ok? if this makes you uncomfortable please click off so i dont know where to start but i just will. thats a proplem with myself. i dont know how to talk to people other than saying "fire" and more stupid stuff. like i want people to know that i care and stuff but i dont know how. like im listening but have nothing to say and if i just say something random i fear they might think i didnt care. anyways, moving on to my friends. i have a few but i feel like it a one sided friendship with most. one of them ill call... S. i know she doesnt like me and shes so.. rude. all the time. and im to afriad to bring it up. another.. LA (first 2 letters of her name) i HATE her. but were still "friends" ig. she just rubbed a lot of stuff in my face but made it seem like she wasent. not the point. a bit ago she became way too much and i grew annoyed because all she talked about was her books and boys or girls. so eventually she became lesbian and stuff and liked S.. she rejected LA so LA moved to.. lets call her W and stuff and W didnt like it but nothing ever said of it. but shes had a crush on my WHOLE friendgroup and i got pissed and posted about it (yes im a bad person im aware) but she found it and she just went off, saying stuff about herself and how she was dating MINE AND HER EX, (she broke up with him for people that did NOT last.) if i typed the whole paragraph it would take hours. but she said stuff like I got mad over her opinion but I was just using my opinion. and she was making me mad because she just kept going. and she said I got mad which I was but it was an opinion. then she said I cussed out her bf but all I said was "sh#t" AND IT WASNT EVEN AT HIM!! but we made up and shes acting like nothing happened. but every time I look at those messages where it happened I wanted to cry. and I do. shes affected my life so bad I struggle with everying became of the amount of times shes tried to k1ll h3rs3lf which I get it, I've tried a few times but its affected me so bad and I'll never forget it. I've been struggling so bad lately. I've been faking sick so I could get out of school. I'm not being bullied but school stresses me out so bad that I cant do this anymore. I've been glued to my bed and woulnt use the bathroom I'd just hold it so I could stay in bed. I think I've been putting much less effort into myself because people keep staring and calling me a ugly emo. trying not to cry because I have a choir concert in 30 minutes. anyways. i have to go. see ya