Who is someone I can be friends with without feeling inferiority, guilt, or jealousy? I keep resenting my friends because they're relaxed and get everything they want while I work way harder and I'm barely their level. I'm confident that everyone hates a part of me for some reason. Those same friends are then loved by everyone. They wouldn't understand, they get praised by everyone and some of them are probably ungrateful. I feel empty, like I want to push myself but I can't like how I used to, it feels half-hearted. Why must all of my equally imperfect friends always turn PERFECT and get everything PERFECT without raising a finger. It's always me who's the problem. It's me. It's me. It's always me, and I can't fix me and do anything but except let myself push myself away from others. When is it not me who everyone hates? Now I feel like I'm seeking attention, and I'm now realizing that I'm bottling everything up. Can people stop asking if I'm okay? If I was alone with nobody to comfort me, then maybe I'd deal with things myself, comfort just feels like something people HAVE to do. I don't want that. Why can't this just disappear?
This is my vent, so if you relate, that's great. But don't spread hate or negativity.
